GirlFromTheHeadHuntingLand

2009-03-06T23:37:00.001+08:00

MOVING NOTICE

I have moved to theveronicles.com. So, see you there guys :)

2009-01-22T10:40:00.004+08:00

I CAN EVEN KILL WITH MY EYES CLOSED!

I didn't sleep well last night. Not because I didn't eat my Happy Pill or Valium (because somehow i begin not to depend on them anymore :P), but because of ONE THING...ONLY ONE THING!

It's the nyamuk (in Malay), mosquito (in English), Paseh (in Farsi), kiah (in Melanau) and nnyaammuuookkk (in Iban :D..no offence but the pronunciation is like that i think -- ehh i can speak Iban mimit mimit ok :P)

Damn mosquito, i was so worried i would be drained half of my blood by the time i wake up in the morning coz somehow i was bitten at 12 different areas INCLUDING THE TIP OF MY MIDDLE FINGER!!! Can you imagine how annoyingly itchy that can be?? Of all the places, why must be the tip of my middle finger?? Maybe the mosquito was angry coz i was subconsciously point my middle finger while i was trying to sleep :D

Talking about places that you dont want to be gigit (*bitten) by mosquito, the mosquito can can suck my blood from any other part of my body, except my fingers and my EYE LID!! Can you imagine how hideous to wake up in the morning with that swollen eyelid and it's itchy? I think i should buy 10 Ridsect and start self-fogging my house!

The funny thing is, i have not left any window or door open, so where the hell did the mosquito come from? Teleport? And everytimei get to kill the mosquito, i'll examine the little vampire to check whether it's an aedes or not, coz dengue is on the rise i heard :P Then i'll start to pull the leg one by one and sometimes i take the ciggie lighter to burn then there and then...muahahahaha. Ok just joking, i'm not that brutal, i just collect them in the jar to warn their fellow friends "DO NOT MESS WITH THE ZOHAN!!" DISCO DISCO...GOOD GOOD....hahahahah. I was laughing so hard while watching that movie :P

But you know what's interesting? I found a dead nyamuk with my blood smeared all over my palm :P I must have killed the mosquito while i was asleep :D

2009-01-21T15:47:00.002+08:00

"NICK, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!"

That's what i got when i said to a friend that "I was working out" when she asked me why was i panting while talking to her on the phone :P Yes, i have started the routine to do Cardio Dance for 20 minutes - 30 minutes everyday.

No, i don't intend to lose weight. It is so obvious that i don't wanna lose weight when:

1. I don't have enough weight to lose.
2. I immediately eat three slice of pizza and five cubes of Laughing Cow Cheese and one energy bar after working out.

The reason i have been working out is because of this-->

ENDORPHIN RUSH

It is a very natural-feel-good-no-pill required therapy to improve the mood especially one who is having depression and anxiety. HAHAHAHA, I bet all the therapists are banging their heads on the wall now and said, "DAMMIT, SHE REVEALED THE ULTIMATE SECRET, NOW I'M SO GONNA CLOSE DOWN MY BUSINESS!!" Yeah, bye bye psychologist or whatever name the society gives you :D Now i can save my money for more Lattes :D

2009-01-21T12:07:00.004+08:00

WALKING ON AIR

Oucch..pain in my head! It's either the drinking last night, or i have overslept. One great improvement i notice about myself: I AM NOW FREE OF VALIUM AND THE HAPPY PILL!!! It is all about letting go. Looking at the past means i am somehow still attached to it. So, no i'm not looking at the past anymore. I AM MOVING STRAIGHT FORWARD....FAST...REAL FAST!!!

12 pm and i will work till 12 tonight. Many work pending which i need to complete by tomorrow. When i say a lot, it's really a lot.

Momma said, "Don't worry at all, we will always stand by you no matter what." I SAYANG MY PARENTS THE MOST!!!

Currently i am listening a lot to My Chemical Romance. The songs are full of energy, exactly what i need at the moment. ENERGY! And, i have been eating a lot of energy bar. THE FASTEST AND EASIEST FOOD packed with energy to keep me going the whole day :) Anyway, i had strawberry with honey for breakfast. It's not my usual breakfast, but i just feel like eating fruit. I SERIOUSLY NEED TO DETOX :) It is somehow beginning to show on my skin :P

It's a beautiful day indeed :)

Dik Wan is so adorable :D

2009-01-20T09:23:00.006+08:00

Quote of the Day: Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
........................................................

TO BOWL OR NOT TO BOWL

Really feel like going bowling, but i just got my nails done :( And getting my nails done are my favorite thing to do right now. But, at the same time, i really want to go bowling :P Can i bowl with my foot instead? The other day, i was so glad to find a bowling bowl in size "XS". That's so me!! :D

Momma always said to me, "Eat more, then it would be easier to find clothes for you...." That's when i was younger. 15 years later, she's still saying the same thing to me :P It's not that difficult, just that clothes in the smallest size will be out of stock faster, coz we Asians are small. During my trip to Australia last year, i was seriously overjoyed when i was shopping at DFO coz i could easily find my size...from XS to XXS!! Yes...XXS!!! My only regret was I didnt buy the Nine West knee-high boot!! Anyway, since Air Asia has flight to Melbourne, i'm planning to go AGAIN :D Gotta work real hard, super hard to earn extra $$$$$.

Talking about working hard, i've been reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and i do agree that working hard will not ensure that you will be rich! I want to be rich, who doesnt want. Everyday i dream of winning the Jackpot, but to think again, if i ever won the Jackpot, i'd finished the money in no time! Buy this buy that again that, so before I know it, the money's gone. So, my strategy now is to work hard but using the SMART WAY :) How? Ok, let me experiment everything first, then i'll tell you people ok :D

Ok people, i'll be staying in the library today. And since my blog is blocked on UTM network, so i guess i won't be updating until tonight :D

With my new scandal....hahahahhaha

2009-01-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

DAM DI DI DAM

I heard a stupid dog is barking! Shoot stupid dog with guli! Stupid dog go fuck yourself!

I have the best parents in the world. That's all i wanna say. "Go and shop, you have the card, don't you?" Daddy's plastic comes in handy when retail therapy is needed. "Use-The-Basket" theory i introduced to prevent myself from over-spending didn't seem to work. My hand was so itchy to push the damn trolley! As always, RM200 was gone on grocery alone. I bought a lot of energy bar :) One bar = 650kJ. So good!! I have 10 bars :D

Gonna have a little party at home tomorrow night. Vodka - check, Chivas - check, Tequila - check, Lemon and Salt - check, variety of nuts - check, cards for poker - check, Malboro - check. It's going to be a great party with friends planning to sleep over :) Gossiping and bitching will definitely be included. Also tonnes of fruits in the fridge for detox the next day :P

Bought My Chemical Romance CD. I'm gonna start my collection of original CDs. My favorite place to shop now is SPEEDY, tonnes of original DVDs and music CDs.

First PhD seminar is to be held tomorrow and i haven't prepared anything! But, as always, i'll make through it :) I have 8 hours to prepare, which means i am staying up tonight :D

Na na na na na na................

2009-01-19T08:37:00.002+08:00

REMEMBER

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly,
It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun

I'm with you
Whenever you tell, my story
For I am all I've done

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me, in your memory
Remember me

I am the one voice in the cold wind, that whispers
And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out, and touch you
Then I will never die

Remember, I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember me...

Remember, I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember, when your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me

Remember me
Remember... me...

.....................................................................................

It's a beautiful day to wake up to :)

2009-01-19T02:11:00.003+08:00

SINGAPOREAN BIG FUCK!!

You paid for my every single thing? Let's get real here. If it's true that you paid for my every single thing, i dont have to work and concentrate on my studies. And paid by card?? When do you use a card? This is new. Hey Kwek, seriously, there's nothing to be shy about me paying for my own things because i know i can do it. I dont remember when was the last time you're actually paying for the petrol and the toll. Perhaps that was like 3 or 4 years ago? Dont have to save your ego ok. I know you know that's what important. So, yes, you know i know...teehheee.

MAN, I FEEL GOOD NOW!!

2009-01-19T01:33:00.003+08:00

YES, I HAVE MOVED ON

And i am happier than ever!!!

2009-01-19T01:00:00.006+08:00

KWEK CHOO EN IS A LOSER

Like always, you are only good in threatening others. It is so you isn't it? So, do you think i am even scared? I am not scared at all knowing that i have done nothing wrong. You are just trying to defend yourself after all the things i reveal about yourself.

When was it that i stay alone in the kitchen with Dr.M or while fixing the Internet? My housemates were there and you were not even there after the housewarming, so WTF are you trying to say here? I have witnesses that i did nothing wrong, but you on the other hand choose such a secluded place Who will actually believe you story when clearly you have been cheating? You have the family photo? Seriously? She said she was not there with her family in her Facebook, so if you dont have it, so just cut the crap and stop trying to act as if you're in the right!!! AND HOW ABOUT YOU, WENT TO CAMERON AND SPENT 4 DAYS ALONE WITH A MARRIED WOMAN WHO CLAIMED THAT HER HUSBAND IS UNABLE TO PROVIDE HER WITH WHAT SHE WANTS??

Seriously, i dont care what you wanna do, threaten me all you want. Arent you not good in this? You have even threaten to get me arrested before this, dont think i ever forget this. AND STOP DENYING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LYING WHEN THE FACT IS YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE!!! FUCK YOU KWEK!!!

Seriously, i have been so blind to even fall for you before this. EVERYBODY WAS SO RIGHT WHEN THEY ASKED ME WHAT DID I SEE IN YOU THAT I EVEN WANT TO BE WITH YOU! And i dont have to tell you again WHY I CALL IT QUIT!! Are you incapable to even understand simple English? If you wanna think it's because of the money, so be it. Because you still dont want to admit that you have been defending that woman since day 1 we fought. AND HELLO!! I AM NOT DUMB TO JUST ACCEPT EVERYTHING AND SAY "IT'S OK, YOU CAN KEEP THE WOMAN!!" I have my pride and excuse me, pride is not all about money. So, Malaysians are ill-bred? At least we do not stay with our parents until we are past 30 years old!!!

By the way, you dont have to tell me to move on, because i already have!! I do not wish to argue anymore because it is pointless to argue with someone who will never want to admit that he is wrong although the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD knows what's going on. Because no matter what, you will never want to admit your mistake LIKE ALWAYS!! Why am i not surprise! So long loser. You're already dead. REST IN PEACE!! Same to your whore GF!

2009-01-19T00:03:00.001+08:00

LIFE IS FUN

Had manicure and pedicure today. My nails are now pretty!!! Went to Starbucks for a cup of Green Tea Latte. Life is beautiful! A friend invited me over for dinner, heard he is an excellent cook. I'm expecting lambshank :P

Was planning for a picnic at Tasik UTM during the upcoming Chinese New Year holiday. It's something to look forward to because the weather has been excellent for the past weeks. I love the fresh air!! And we have plan to fly to Bali during the midterm break. ISIC card is heaven sent!! So many discounts, so many deals!! We were blinded with too many choices.

It's a great Sunday by the way. I had great classes today. I have improved a lot in my teaching. And i have only guys in my class this semester T_T. Ok, people, it has been a long day. Feeling kinda tired, so i'm gonna retire early tonight :)

Sisha-ing mates :)

2009-01-18T15:14:00.004+08:00

RE: IN MY DEFENCE (1)

He said: What is the meaning of open relationship may i ask? Clearly you have decided to have an open even though I have asked if you could change your mind 1-2 weeks prior to the December date with you still conveniently hold on to, waiting means I have to stay solitude ?
Let's say i befriend a guy, and we go out everyday, and do things which i dont normally do with you, and claim that we're just friends, and keep forcing you to believe that we are just friends, when somehow your guts tell you that we are not, will you still be with me? As easy as you want me to accept that you're just friends, sorry, i just dont think so. If you and your GF are stupid, i am not ok. So, stop blaming me for not willing to change my mind when you yourself dont even want to see what is the real problem with the whole thing. Let me repeat: IT'S THE FUCKING WHORE!!

He said: obviously you have tried means and way to twist and turn your story ,which I myself have gotten ever so used to it. – Wake up please, you have admitted that you are stubborn and so why complain now? Looks like your dates are quite useless now, since you have stubbornly refuse in the first place .
To twist and turn my stories, not very likely. You're twisting your stories to save your sorry ass after you were busted.

He said: Another baseless accusation conclude base on binary figures or figures from sky?
Is it logical that I should have timing to cool off? "EVEN IF" there is a scandal going on what is the problem here ? since you have REPEATLY admit you are stubborn to try again , and mind you this is the second time in this year we have broken off due to your STUBBORNNESS and selfishness which I will touch on later .
We broke up not because of my stubbornness. I'm so sorry that even your parents do not side you. And at least everytime we broke up, i still hold a high respect for your parents, unlike you who always try to harass my family with your stupid calls. Yes, this guy harassed my family after we broke up once, and after we patched up, expect my family to just forget it. DOES IT EVEN MAKE SENSE?

Now with the so call things which you have proclaim you wanted to buy , are you speaking with trotter in your mouth ? Does it take years to get a sweater even if I repeatedly refuse? There shows another non attempt , so do not blame others on your complacent attitude .
So, just because the whore bought you all the things, you worship her? You wrote in your blog that your brought the Ukelele during our last trip to Tioman. So, clearly to me (back then i havent found out about your secret blog), you were trying to impress that whore when the fact is you brought the Guitalele i bought you! Fuck you la Kwek, i hope you will fall on the train track and die! Girls, let me ask you this. Let's say, you already planned to buy something for your BF for his birthday, and out of nowehere, a shameless Bitch potong your jalan and bought a guitar for him first, and he loves it a lot! So, seriously, how would you feel?

Another point which I would like to point out that you in your self sob Blog that you are the one buying my stuff , please may I ask how many items in your household are paid for by me? I do not even count them as anything and yet here you are barking over 1 or 2 gadgets I have pay back since owing is not a way of life
You yourself have repeatedly told me to return and pay back? So why complain again?
Excuse me? Since when did i "REPEATEDLY ASK YOU TO RETURN AND PAY BACK WHATEVER SHIT I BOUGHT FOR YOU??" WHO WAS IT THAT CALLED MY SISTER ALL THE WAY TO SARAWAK AND YELLED AT HER AND AFTER THAT TRIED TO CALL MY DAD TO YELL AGAIN AT HIM TO ASK ME TO RETURN ALL YOUR STUFF? Who was it? Was it you or the dog in front of my house?? Hey, if you feel like you have wasted all your money on me, then sucks on you, because this is what you gotta learn about a relationship. IT IS EXPENSIVE! So, if you dont wanna spend money, then go fuck yourself!!

Does it mean an account which has been carelessly left open is yours to abuse ? in another words are you telling me any man whom walk on the street with a moustache is your father ?you have you privacy I have mine simple as that. You need not display this kind of “ESI” to back your story here .
Yeah, you have been careless. So, what would you do if you suspect that something is wrong with the pipe in your bathroom? Will you just leave it until the whole bathroom floor is flooded with water, or will you go and check it? It's a simple analogy. When you sense something is not right, you will check it. So, what if one day i walked to our room only to find you humping the black woman in our bed just because i came home early after my guts feeling told me that something is not right at home. Are you gonna yell at me and said, "CAN WE HAVE SOME PRIVACY HERE???!!" and continue humping?? Dont be an ass!

Are you sore that after living off me for oh so long has made you into a incompetent person? Here you are complaining again , have I not fed you enough for all these years ? Have I not left you enough money in your bank account even you declared we are off? Mind you it’s a cool 30+ Gs and still you are not satisfied ? I have left all these in good will for your studies, if you are not even appreciative I have no more money for you anymore, sorry
I am not sore at all, to say i am incompetent? You are so wrong about me. Are you even a rich man that i want to depend on you for money? Let's not talk about these years, let's just talk about few weeks ago. Didn't i give you back your S$20 for the box of Green Teas? When you spend all my money to buy DVDs which you will never watch, have i ever complained? I never complained when i paid for all the meal when you're in Malaysia although a day with you could easily cost me nothing less than RM200 when you on the other hand would only withdraw S$20 everytime we're out in Singapore. Wanna watch movie? "It's expensive!!" I dont depend on you at all. In fact, you were sore over your money because, hey it is you! You fear of losing your money. So, who can blame you anyway! I have never said a thing when i spend my money on you! FUCK YOU AGAIN! Chish, i dont remember i was marrying a rich man!! If i were to make my life miserable, i rather not to get married at all!!! Why should i get married if i were already told that i MUST earn my own money to pay for my own thing? It's not like i cannot earn my own money, but CLEARLY THIS KINDA GUY IS JUST AFRAID OF THE COMMITMENT!! Why should i get married if i were told that i have limit in my career as in when i can work, where can i work, even before i'm married?? Why should i get married if i were given a warning "I'll not wait anymore if you wanted to pursue your studies somewhere else." or "Dont you ever think of sitting at home and not working." even before i'm married? I dont get married to make my life miserable. Get it??!!

Even when we are still together you have never produced any evidence that you have saved the monthly 1K over the time which I have given and entrusted you to do it. I do not think it is too difficult to show any statement for a year since I have last asked you. Its ok now since we are officially off you can keep the sum as I know the money has gone through whatever ploys or lies you will spin. It does not make any difference here anymore. So much for your “Rich” family tales
Since day 1, you were afraid of the wedding thingy. How much you have to pay and stuff. You didnt even bother to call my dad to tell him that you were engaged to me and we're going to hold an official engagement ceremony. Guys, is there such a thing as free-marriage? Guys, do you have to give anything to the parents of the girl if you wanted to marry her? I dont know about other race, but for my race, yes. And you shamelessly keep telling me that there's nothing for you to give to my parents. HELLO!! They raise me up for 26 freaking years and you think they want to give me away to an asshole like you just like that?? Dream on la!! No parents will let you take their girls just like that! Except for a whore! And about my rich family, you have seen it by yourself, and you know it yourself. Feel bitter about this? At least my Mom doesnt have to wash other people's toilet until she is 55 years old, in fact she has never wash toilet for others. And at least my Dad has the privilege to retire by 55, and at least he could afford "to build" his own house with everything fully paid for without requiring all the member of the family to chip in. Chipping in? THAT IS SO NOT OUR THING OK!

So “Commitment free?” yes it is indeed to feel free again. Especially I have been “Cheated” every month of 1.6K, which I have dumbly trusted you. Oh another name which I have forgotten , its called ASSHOLE which u posted on Jan 13 .
You think you were cheated? You brought this upon yourself. That's not a very high price to pay for someone you love, right? I gave you a choice, me or her, enough said!

Me bastard ? it ought to be your Unforgettable Dr M , which you again conveniently forget that I have caught you in the trying act of SCANDAL also while we ARE STILL TOGETHER sounds oddly familiar ? Deny as you would I cannot care less anymore. This sentence is meant for you perhaps you would again conveniently push it back to my court which I do not think it is impossible for you to do . I told you I will NEVER forget, and here you re barking back the exact situation, which you thought it, was. Too old to remember? Need me to remind what you have done?
As i have said in my previous post, yes i admit my mistake and that happened 3 years ago!! How about you? You were unfaithful to me when we were just months away from getting married? Dont you feel ashamed of yourself when you tell my dad not to worry because you're going to take care of me? The way i see it, more likely i will have to take care of myself in every aspect of my life even after we're married! You know it yourself. Whatever sob stories you said to your whore GF or your other friends, i dont even give a damn! From your past history, everybody knows what an ass you are!! I ENDURED EVERYTHING AND DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS SAID ABOUT YOU FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS, AND YET YOU FALL FOR A WOMAN JUST BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU THE TRAGIC STORY OF HER LOVE LIFE! You said to me before, a woman must not tell another man about any problem she has with her partner. So how about this GF of yours? AN EXCEPTIONAL CASE I PRESUME?

1)No muslim friends ? Did you not tell me your bunch of Muslims friends drinks and party ? What makes you think I do not feel anything ? you told me yourself the Arab group are a bunch of snobs ? and you dislike them ? so one way to cure your problem is not to make friends , simple . anyway I did not say you cannot make friends , I said avoid. Do not mis-quote me.
EVERYONE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING WORLD WHO KNOWS WHO IS KWEK CHOO EN KNOWS HOW MUCH HE HATES MUSLIM!! So contrary to the fact that he used to have a Muslim GF before me, and another one AFTER ME!! Someone simply couldnt make up his mind i guess? So what if my friends drink and party? What's your problem with that? Are you not a drinker yourself or you're just trying act holy here? You're the anti-radical, and when i told you about a bunch of my friends who aren't radical, you feel inferior for dont know what!! How about your GF who is trying to act holier-than-thou-art? You with her? IT'S SO NOT YOU! And so what if i said some of the students in my uni snobs? A rotten apple spoils the whole bunch. Just because of one bad apple, doesnt mean we should throw the whole bunch. Dont be so narrow la! When you're saying these kinda thing but at the same time you're defending that whore GF of yours, are you not actually eating your own words? So, what's the difference between do not make friends and avoid making friends? Since when you are so mild? When you said no, means no, so dont try to tone it down by changing the word to "avoid".

2)Did you not tell me how much you HATED students to call you over the weekends and past 11s including lectures and Dins too . telling me how much usless they are not able to complete their task with you around ? so another way to solve you grouse is not to pick up which you agreed too.
3)No SMS I do not remember unless you are telling me the period after you Dr M scandal , other than that do you not have the liberty to call whomever you want on my house phone anytime anyhow ? do I make such a communist here ? I do not think so .
Kwek, this is long before i started teaching. So, your answer is not applicable. Do you still remember that faithful evening when you read one SMS i received, "Hi Gozo, when are you coming back from Singapore??" That's when you started to impose this ridiculous rule of NO SMSING AND NO CONTACT WITH FRIENDS OR COLLEAGUE WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME. And did you remember that you wanted to call it off immediately after that and called my dad to tell him that I have an affair with a Muslim guy JUST BECAUSE OF THAT SMS? HOW THE HELL YOU WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE AN AFFAIR WHEN THE SMS WAS ONLY ASKING WHEN I WOULD BE BACK FROM SINGAPORE COZ WE HAD ASSIGNMENT TO FINISH?? Compare the SMS with the message you sent in your Facebook. Which one do you think is having an affair? Even Cheddie can tell me how ridiculous and childish you were. It's not that i agreed. I cant even talk over the phone or checking an SMS without you pulling that face!! You know what kinda face i'm talking about. "Woahh woaahh so kanjiong to check the SMS meh??" At least i didnt say anything when your whore GF sent that SMS to you when we were at church that Sunday. You know which SMS i'm talking about. And about the woman in the picture which you claimed was Caleb's secretary?? Stop lying la!! You're not good at it.

4)Please refer to point 2

In this capitalist environment which we are living it has been a life long learning process , either you improve or you will be replaced , simple. Do not be bitter because you just do not cut in. i have repeatedly told you before if you do not treasure what you have others will take .
Mr.Kwek, please stop talking about improvement thingy. When was the last time you try to improve yourself? When was the last time i see you try to be better? "I dont have to." I know that's your answer. So, if you yourself is not willing to improve yourself, then dont try to tell others to improve themselves. It's me who endlessly have been trying to improve myself, while you just stay stagnant hoping that the whole world will change for you!! Dream on, baby!! And you think I do not cut in? So you think i was dying to be with you?? You think you're the eligible bachelor of the year??? So, you're trying to say you replaced me when the fact is i left you? Dont you remember how you tried to win me back after the whole ordeal? As i have said previously, the main reason why you didnt want to pursue the whole thing anymore is because you're busted! You realised there is no way for you to win my trust ever again! So, might as well call it off rather than to endure a lifetime of doubt living with me. You thought i'd never find it out, too bad. I'm not as stupid as what you may think. By saying that others will take what i do not treasure, are you trying to tell me that the woman shamelessly eat the leftovers moment after i've left? Basically, you allow all these to happen like what i have said before. You simply close one eye and let things to be out of control. As i have said, i hate you because YOU ALLOW ALL THESE TO HAPPEN!!

This is the 1st call to stall this non rewarding conflict to a full stop . as per returned above everything is just about me. I do have the time to entertain , as I only have driving lessons to attend , 3 times a day or 3 times a week of return has no impact on my schedule , feel free to start or stop, its your call. I do have nice memories, which I will fondly remember, to tarnish or to preserve is also your choice.
All the pictures we had, the two big albums, they are ashes now. I do not wish to have any memory of you!!! About your driving, you can even get into an accident while driving a "parked car!!"

If its off it means off , there is no reward in winning a blog war , simply you do not get a trophy or even hear a single clap other than random ‘well done” from nowhere. It benefits nobody anything , you do not gain nor lost anything from here. if you want to go just go , both you and me have things which we lost and gain . it is a truce .
Yes, it is off. But about this blog war, i can write whatever shit i want in my blog. Ohh, if you dont like what you read here, FUCK OFF!!! You might want to read the "READ ME". As what your whore GF said, angry person will do anything to vent their anger, and you know it all along that this very blog of mine is THE best place to do such a thing.

A note to Lai leng and butt-lee , I would humby advice you to keep your wet nose dry . this is a war between me and Nick. Where are you people here when things happen? (Sempit or whatever movies do not really apply here) , and i do not turn off my Macs except for occasional reboot , try looking for my location with a click of a button , i challange you starting from this very minute - TRACK ME , think before you speak , do not shoot off your ass like an idiot. do you not know IP addy changes everytime we reboot ? Do not side simply for the sake of opening your big fat mouth .instead of encouraging already broken person you fuel the anger .If these cyber dogs are pretty much of “true” friends I greatly beg to differ from your stand.
By the way, you dont have to tell my friends what to do. They are not dumb, and in Malaysia we practice freedom of speech (well, at least better than Singapore!) So, so long LOSER!!!

2009-01-18T10:43:00.005+08:00

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY

And it's a beautiful day to resume the war. As i have always said, IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THAT WOMAN. Cant you just see that she is the major problem here? If only, IF ONLY you have decided to leave her, we could still be together now. But, too bad --> YOU SAID YOU WILL NEVER LET HER GO!! So, i guess the 30K (which was not all yours. Besides, have i told you that an engagement to a DAYAK isn't cheap??) is what you have paid to be with her?

PEOPLE--THIS IS FROM A GUY WHO IS LAMENTING OVER HIS LOST, A GUY WHO THOUGHT MARRIAGE IS OUGHT TO BE AS CHEAP AS BUYING A DOG (even a dog is expensive at times!!), FROM SOMEONE WHO FELT INFERIOR WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT MY DAD PAID MORE THAN 10K TO MY BROTHER'S PARENTS-IN-LAW FOR THEIR DAUGHTER (BESIDES SOME GOLD AND OTHER THINGS, IT'S THE TRADITION YOU DUMB-FUCK. Yet, my father never asked anything from you!!), WHO BOUGHT A DIAMOND RING WHICH WAS DISCOUNTED AT 50% OR 70% TO PROPOSE TO ME (anyway, i love the ring, so it doesn't matter, but it's swimming inside Tasik UTM now :P). IF YOU'RE AFRAID OF THE COMMITMENT, JUST SAY SO.

Who was it that proposed to postpone the wedding from December to March, then from March to June, then from June to September, and lastly from September to 3 years later? You were just afraid of the commitment!!

And about Dr.M thingy, i admit i let my heart to stray, but that was like 3 years ago, HELLO!! And you? YOU COMMIT EVERYTHING WHEN WE WERE JUST MONTHS AWAY FROM TYING THE KNOT! Yet, you have the cheek to call me your FIANCEE while your heart is somewhere else? And to your whore GF, shame on her!! And you are just another homewrecker. You told me that her husband felt uneasy about your relationship with her, so was i, but YOU TWO CHOOSE TO IGNORE EVERYTHING BECAUSE LOVE IS BLIND, ISN'T IT!!

Since the day we fought, what was the thing that always come out of my mouth? IT WAS THAT WOMAN!! Was is so difficult for you to even understand this? If you even want me, you would rather lose her than to lose me. But, since you wanna keep her, then by all means don't complain over your lose ok! Don't ever think that you will get the best of both worlds. I am not going to be a substitute! And you know why i decided to leave you? Because you were no longer on my side. You're on her side now. I wonder WTF did she feed you with that you are so fucking demented since then.

Seriously lar Kwek, I am really thankful for this beautiful disaster!

And about the open relationship thingy? On December 13, 2008: yes we agreed to have an open relationship, but you were the one with tears in your eyes said that no matter what you will wait for me even if it takes forever. And? 2 days later you're already calling another man's wife SAYANG?? So fucking twisted! That's the reason why i said, both of you have been having this affair since September! How is it possible for a man who just broke up of a 6 years relationship who was also due to be married in months could fall in love so quickly in just two days and start calling each other SAYANG? Actually, it was just a day, because you said "IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN 12 HOURS SINCE WE LAST MET, SO FAST MISS ME??"

Besides, where's the family picture you promised to show me? Caught between your own lies? It's a family outing? You were there with her!! And you planned this even when we were still together! Remember when you said to me, "For the past six years of our relationship, have i ever lied to you?" And i know you lied when you kept quiet and looked away after i said, "Just because i didnt find out, doesnt mean you have never lied to me." You are really bad in lying. I have known everything, but i gave you the benefit of the doubt since the day you started to tell me about this whore!

And about me getting red eye? No, i have moved on. Didn't i mention that the door you closed has actually opened even more doors? So, no, i have never missed you at all. Want me to say it again?? I AM GLAD IT IS OVER!!!! And i didnt bother to try again because YOU NEVER WANT TO LET HER GO!! If she is JUST a friend which you have just known for months, will it be so difficult for you to leave her? You're with me for more than 6 years, and you're with her for just 3 months, and you decided to keep her and let me walk away. So, dont blame me for not willing to give the relationship a try. You trade me for her, you trade all the six years we had for a mere 3 months. HOW CAN I NOT HATE YOU FOR THIS?

Another thing, no i didn't accuse you blindly. BECAUSE EVEN A BLIND MAN CAN SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING BETWEEN YOU AND THAT WHORE!!

Just bring it on Kwek, just bring it on. By the way, could you please open up your page for comments or include some shoutbox in your blog?

To be continued-- (Dear Readers, I'm in the class right now!!)

2009-01-17T16:15:00.004+08:00

IT'S A NICE DAY

Slept at 4 am after talking on the phone for hours. It is nice to have a listening ear. No, i didn't complain about my failed love life, it was a casual chatting over the phone between friends. Why 4 am? Because it's day time at the other side of the world. And i was charting my business plan. Not a big one, but it's sufficient for a start. It's almost done, but i am still wondering whether i have the guts to kick-start the plan. Just wait and see.

Woke up at 11 am, and was late to go to IDP Education Office. I was late 5 minutes, and they were already closed. I just laugh it off, and took the opportunity to try some Chinese New Year biscuit which was currently on sale at the nearby shopping mall.

I'm going to conduct my first lecture for the new semester tomorrow. Am looking forward to it. I aim to improve myself in teaching. Perhaps i should allocate more time for lecture preparation. I am happy with my current CV, i have sufficient publications, adequate teaching experience, and research experience. I have reputable references, and i am going to write an impressive SOP. I don't see the disaster as a failure, in fact, i believe that it opens even more door of opportunity for me. It is all a blessing in disguise.

It's windy today, and the weather is really good. I just cannot wait to leave this place and go someplace far far away. It's just a matter of time. Too much memory too painful to remember. For the first time in my life, i am taking charge of my own life!

I just love the strawberries. Notice the strawberry jam and a Handy Cam on the other hand which is full of dirty evidence of someone's infidelity and unfaithfulness

2009-01-17T01:14:00.003+08:00

RANDOM

+ I am so damn stubborn
+ I am so revengeful
+ I am so aggressive
+ I am so mean
+ I am a hater
+ I am also a lover
+ I am numb
+ I don't feel the pain anymore
+ I am happy
+ I thank Him for His blessings
+ I am strong
+ I am stronger
+ I am Veronica

It's Saturday, and I am going to spring clean my house. Gonna wash my car, going to cook lunch and will attend Mass, perhaps visit the confessional. At least i know i have sinned, and seeking forgiveness. I know only through Him i will find my inner peace.

I would like to thank all my friends again for standing by me. Thank you.

2009-01-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR (AGAIN!!)

She is the reason why i ended my relationship with my ex-fiance. Now she is trying to tell me to get over it because we're not together anymore. It is like telling me, "Hey, he is not yours anymore, can just leave us alone in peace?" Perhaps she forgot that she is married? WITH TWO KIDS??

I was so right when i told my ex-fiance that this woman must be "secretly" happy when she knew that our relationship was ending. Just look carefully at her face, look at her evil face! Cant believe i have to even post such an ugly face in my blog!

2009-01-16T16:32:00.003+08:00

DONE AND OVER WITH~

Momma called and said Dad has planned everything for my study abroad. YIPPIE!! I bet they just want me to leave this cursed place at the soonest possible. They will even come here to visit me more often and will bring Big Bro along :) Thought of renting an X-Trail and bring them on a road trip around Malaysia. Wow..am i not excited??!!

I have this small ambition. Small because even if i cannot execute it, it's ok. I thought of studying law :) Well, of course i'll still be doing my doctorate, but i also want to study law. I want to be a lawyer!! I think it is always nice to be multi-disciplinary.

Ok guys, i choose to be happy today :) I'm off to buy "pirated DVD" and will cook a nice dinner for myself tonight. Got myself a bottle of Absolut Vodka Peach, and i am also thinking of taking up Yoga or Hip Hop Dance. My IELTS test will be on February 7!! YIPPIE :)

Yes, i was in Cameron Highland to be a SHE-SPY!!!

2009-01-16T11:48:00.004+08:00

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT'S OVER~~

Anyway, first of all i would to thank Jac for sending me the link. And frankly speaking, i found it not long after she closed down the previous blog :P No matter where she run, we will be able to track her coz she is a dumbshit and we are doing our doctorate in Computer Science, so a simple thing as tracking a Bitch's blog cant be as difficult as a dissertation viva.

I wanted to just forget about everything coz i feel very nauseous everytime i think about their affair and i simply just want to move on. BUT~~ she started it all again, and how i CANNOT just sit quietly should somebody especially A BITCH who still think she is still so holy and blameless and spotless and as white as snow although the fact is she is even blacker than a charred charcoal in my eyes said false things about me!

So, this blog is a response to this post of hers --> http://ijzig-sneeuwy.blogspot.com/2009/01/thanks-for-comment.html

Bitch said: Yes i know i am a dumbshit thanks Jac for your comment which i receive yesterday.Thanks for tracking me with the help of facebook and it okie i know the person who behind this because anyway my blog is for anybody to read.
It is so childish of her to simply assume that somebody is behind Jac asking her to send the comment on my behalf. As low as i can get, i will never get that low, and as low as i get, i do not eat the leftovers like you. I do not shamelessly tell everyone to comment neither do i ask them to attack you because i am the one who have problem with you and not them, so why do i expect them to hate you? I was simply using this blog of mine to channel all my anger, and besides unvealing your evil deeds which you have successfully opacified.

Bitch said: You said Veron is a nice woman.Yes without doubt she is a nice woman.If you ask my friends they would also say i am nice woman.She can post anything at her blog with evidence yet i did not say anything not because i am in the wrong or i want to run away here my reason--
Without doubt i'm a nice woman?? Who she think she is? She doesnt even know me but blindly say i am a nice woman? Obviously, she doesnt have a stand because in her previous post about me, she said i'm a ~~SIBU~~ KUCHING DEMON, so now i am nice? How wishy washy someone can get. And we don't have to ask your friends whether you are nice, because the logic of it, since they are your friends, they definitely will say you are nice. Try to ask your enemy. And frankly speaking, I don't even know who is Jac, perhaps she is just a reader of my blog, and if she is really just a reader of my blog, i will be amazed because she can even know that i am a nice person just by reading my blog, although at times i would rather tell people that I AM A MEAN GIRL!! See, i don't have to announce to the whole world that I am nice, because ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS! My mouth is so foul and i am so evil, but my action doesn't speak my words. I can say, "I HATE YOU" to my BF, but yet at the same time I'm cooking for him because i love him (this is an imaginary BF).

Bitch said: Because the evidence was sent on the 15/12/08 she never said when she already break off with her fiancee?
She was talking about one of the evidence which is this -->

I hate to do this, but i have to. We fought on November 23rd,2008, the day i left Singapore for good and we fought because of that woman!He didn't call me for a week, and somehow within that week, they were planning for their trip to Cameron Highland and somehow i thought my BF would be going alone coz he said he just wanted to do some soul-searching (FUCK LAH!!) And i am sure, he was busy with that ugly woman while i was pacifying myself that it's not over yet, that there is always hope we could get back together.

You can read my post in December 2008, and from there you know how much we have tried to give the relationship another try. And, the truth is, my ex-BF came to Malaysia on December 13, 2008 to meet me and tried to talk to me about a second chance (although we have gone through this many times before). I even bought him Christmas presents!! We hugged and kissed, and we really tried to change "MY" mind. But, in the end, i was just amazed with how stubborn i could get. I told him, let's keep it an open relationship for now, and HE PROMISED THAT HE WILL WAIT FOR ME EVEN IF IT'S GONNA TAKE FOREVER!! By the end of the day, he left Singapore with a heavy heart, but we still kept in touch during that week over the phone. And when's that? 13th December!! And the message was sent on 15th December, and we were still in touch, and it was suppose to be our cooling period until January!! So, we were still in a relationship as of 15th December. I ONLY TOTALLY CALL IT OFF ON 19 DECEMBER AFTER THEY WERE BOTH BUSTED WHEN THEY WERE ON THEIR TRIP TO CAMERON HIGHLAND. And after my EX-FIANCE refused to let me visit him in Cameron when i was in KL after my meeting, just because he wanted to have a private time with that BITCH!! So, get this right BITCH!! We were still in a relationship as of 15th December 2008, and the evidence i showed, it's a proof on how unfaithful both of you could get!!! Especially you, A MARRIED WOMAN WITH TWO KIDS!! Besides, don't you think it is too fast for him to even move on with another "SAYANG" after our 6 years relationship? From here, i can conclude that your affair with my ex-fiance started since September!! FUCK YOU BOTH!! Please, give the link of my blog to your friends, please. I wonder why you refused. Afraid they might know the truth? ANY DUMB-FUCK WILL KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE WRONG!!

Bitch said: If i want i can post the email which they both have communicate just to stand on my right but for what the point i want to do that?it privacy between them both.So let her say whatever she want.
Woahh, who do she think she is that she wanna post the email sent by me to my ex-fiance during the ordeal? I thought she was just a friend? I WAS ENGAGED TO THAT MAN AND WAS DUE TO BE MARRIED IN JUST 5 MONTHS, and YOU ARE?? So, whaveter happened between US before 19 December 2008, IT IS TOTALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, BITCH!!! Besides, why are so shamelessly call him sayang even before we officially call it off? You easily eat other girl's leftovers. Shame on you. But who can blame you, you were forced to be married to your current husband, and you never love him. So, now, you've found your love. FUCK YOU!

Bitch said: She is angry when people angry they will say and do anything which make them feel better.
A simple logic, even a retard knows this, so dont have to tell us, ok.

Bitch said: She said he treat me all the thing when we go out. Why not you all ask him? Why just listen to what she said and assume that is correct? Do you think i am pennyless here....i have money i don't depend on other like razor blade.My best friend pls post comment and tell them what i bought for you all which i dont think so a friend would buy also.Pls tell this people money is nothing compare to friends which are very important to me and i will do anything for them.
Woahh, show off Bitch. We dont have to ask your friends how generous you are. You can be generous to everyone, but perhaps you should know your limit? When you are generous to my ex-fiance, have you ever thought how would i feel? You bought him a Ukelele when i already promised him that i will buy him a Guitalele for his birthday. You bought him that Nike jacket which for years i tried to get for him, but he refused. He bought you an Ipod touch when i even have to pay for my own Green Teas!! He even bought you a new Crumpler bag when i have to fight with him over a S$60 Esprit blouse (just because i didnt have Singapore dollar with me). So, tell me, if you were in my shoes and your husband was doing that to another woman, and bluntly tell you that they were just friends? How would you feel if your husband is being double-standard? Well, i know you would say it ok BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN MY SHOES!!! Besides, it's more to me that you're buying your friends. If not because of what you gave them, i doubt they would even want to befriend with you.

Bitch said: Did i ask my friend to comment on her blog? and stand on my right?I did not do that because what the point of fighting and let others enjoy the reading.I dont seek sympathy here.I believe god will proof it and truth just surface.And if the evidence she post saying i have affair with him why it just one sentence doesn't it weird? why no continuation?did anyone ask her? and i know she have all the fiancee password and if i am evil why i sent to him that kind of message even though i aware of it?So people out there you can support her i have my friend here to support me too....If you wish my downfall i have people to wish my rising too....
Please get this right Bitch, whatever comment and messages i get from this blog or your blog, i have not asked my friends to send them. You think i am as shameless as you? I dont have to tell my friends, "Hey friends, please attack this Bitch!!" That's the difference between me and you, our mentality. You're just plain stupid! And the reason why i even bother to spend hours writing all these craps, so that the whole world will know how evil you are!! Still think you are in the right? SHAME ON YOU!! Still think God will side you?? SHAME ON YOU!! The reason why i simply post only one evidence is because i do not want to further humiliate my ex-Fiance although i really want to further bring you down!! The rest of the evidence? They will come in handy for sure. Yes, i can access all my BF's email and Facebook, but he never thought of this. And that Facebook message? It was in the Sent Folder, he forgot to delete it (BUSTED!!) But he deleted the Inbox. People, dont be so naive to even believe this BITCH! You sent him this kinda message because you thought i'll never find out! You both thought i'll never figure it out! Seriously la, give your friends the link to my blog, and i am sure you will lose all of them after this! I CHALLENGE YOU!! Oh, by the way, i was in Cameron Highland if you wanna know. SPYING IS SUCH A COOL JOB!!

Bitch said: I change my blog because i dont want her to read it and later she get affected and whatever i post not mean for her she will thought it mean for her.I dont want to hurt people i rather change my blog name but you all can say i run away because i am coward.It okie with me because i cant stop what you people view and say.Since you all want to haunt me then i let you all do it because i cant keep on changing my blog name.If she think i am in the wrong and blame me i just wrong person at wrong time to be in the whole situation.Veron i dont mind you said brutal about me scold me foul as long you feel at ease.
Yeah, you changed your blog because somehow you feel limited to write whatever shit you want if we people read it. I know how you feel, been there done that!! Just that, i never changed my blog name coz i stand my ground! So, which post was not about me? TELL ME?? Besides, you were afraid that people would mock you after knowing your evil deeds. Dont think we are dumb. If you're dumb, doesnt mean we are. You started with sneeuwy as your blog domain, then ijzig-sneeuwy, then onlymala79, and back to ijzig-sneeuwy. Because why? because your previous post were about that blog domain!! So, if you changed to onlymala79, you would have to delete the post, or change the whole story!! DUMBSHIT!

Seriously, i am done with both of you. You can continue living with your infidelity, i dont give a damn. But try to say another word about me, i'll never leave you rest in peace. And stop thinking you're so holy and blameless because in our eyes you're such a joke!!! Just because you're own marriage didnt work coz you were forced to marry that husband of yours out of love for the sake of having kids, you simply wanna ruin others. Kudos to you. Bye, Loser~~

2009-01-15T19:43:00.003+08:00

400TH POST

I dedicate this 400th post to all my readers who have given all the support and encouragement i need while going through this hard time. I would like to personally thank Sandra, Shirley, Christina Chendu (yes, i have not forgotten you :)), Sajjad (yes, i really appreciate your comments and word of encouragement, kheili mamnoon:)), Jen (thanks Jen, i will definitely be able to go through all these like a woman :D), lavendarguy (Jesus loves you too.. :)), Josh, Budleee, Jeff, everyone in Facebook who left me comments and messages especially Vic (Vic..our birthday is coming!! Let's celebrate together :P), Harold & Fabian (i still cannot forget what you guys said about purifying me inside Klang River...ahahhaha), and those who i have forgotten to mention.

A very special thanks to my Momma and Dad for their love and understanding (seriously, i will not trade my family for anything else in the world!!), Smelly Sister for her time listening to my craps, cousin Judith and Alaina, Bishop Joseph Hii and Sister Carmel for their concerns and prayers, Caleb (i have never blamed you for what happened, in fact, i thank you for your kind concerns, and thank you for your time reading my rants and raves), and last but not least, i would like to thank my dear supervisor, Prof.Dr.Rose Alinda for her kind understanding after my sudden disappearance for a very long time without any news.

And I thank God for everything, be it good or bad. It's the blessing that counts :)

So guys, from this post onwards, i will not be looking back anymore!! I have a great life ahead of me that need attending to :D And i must not forget my New Year Resolution...yippie!! Have a nice day, everyone :)

2009-01-13T14:16:00.002+08:00

F*CKING COWARD!!

http://sneeuwy.blogspot.com/ is restricted to invited readers only! F*CK COWARD! Afraid that others might discover your true self and infidelity? Where's the so-innocent-soft-as-cotton-as-white-as-don't-know-what-shit Bitch?

I'm gonna let it all out because EVERYBODY IS THINKING THAT IT IS ALL MY FAULT! Just because i am trying to move on by pursuing my studies and doing better and it seems more likely that I am the one who took advantage of the situation, so everybody is blaming me!! NO...You dont get to say "IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!" to me. Why is everyone keep thinking that I am the bad one? Just because i was the one who decided to end the relationship doesnt make me the bad person. I was just realised it was the best thing to do for both parties, and i was not selfish at all while making the decision. I know by ending everything, i have to face the humiliation of announcing to family and friends that I am not getting married after all. I know that i have to totally stand on my own feet and have to wake up to the reality that I am now on my own! I have to realise that i have piles of debts to clear with the small paycheck i get from working as a government servant, while he is enjoying himself with the other woman "commitment-free"!

But please get this clear:

I AM ENJOYING MY LIFE AND I AM LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!

2009-01-13T10:13:00.002+08:00

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU'RE INNOCENT AND BLAMELESS

It seems to me i am not done and over with everything. The sore and the pain? It is still bleeding. When it will heal? Only God knows. I know, this is all His plan. Might be too painful to swallow, but I am sure He has a greater plan for me. So, I will faithfully let Him lead me through the winding and rocky path.

To everyone who all along thought that everything was my fault, no, it was not my fault. Just imagine this scenario:

Your man was befriending a woman, and they got closer by the day. Everytime you suppose to be having nice time with him after a tiring day at work, he would talk about that good friend of his. About what they did together, about what she said to him, about what he said to her, about the lame jokes they said to each other, and more. He would also tell you about his upcoming plans, but not with you, plans with the new-found BFF (puke!!) He changed: from the thrifty man to the super-generous person, but so sad he's not generous to you, only to his BFF. Bought her an Ipod touch, paid for her every meal, brought her to cycle and roller blade every weekend while you're working your ass off just to earn extra income coz he already set the rule how much you should be bringing home and what you're suppose to be paying after you're married, and you even have to fork out your own money to pay for bottles of your favorite green tea!! He frequents the cinema every time a new movie is screened, a drastic change when once upon a time he dubbed the movie as expensive, "let's buy pirated DVD instead," he said. You found this is just an excuse for them to be together, like a date, but they were trying to cover it. "No, we're going for a movie, not a date." What do you call a movie night out with a woman plus dinner and perhaps a smooch by the end of the night? It sounds like a typical date. And when you're left at home working so hard but he's out enjoying with the other woman, how would you feel? And when you confronted him, "Why are you always with that woman?" The answer is like a hard-slap on your face, "You've been busy working and you have no time for me." While the other woman, when confronted with a question like, "How about your husband? You're his wife and you're out with another man?" She would bluntly answer,"My husband cannot provide me with what i want, so he allows me to go out with him." So, what are you gonna do when you are given such answers? Me?? I WALKED AWAY WITH VENGEANCE!

2009-01-13T00:04:00.004+08:00

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT I AM A SORE LOSER~

Here's my confession -- despite of the Valium and Amitriptyline, i am still having problem slumbering. Even if i managed to doze off, i'll wake up coz of nightmares. (*Must be God's punishment coz of my evil deeds!!) Dont be a retard la, He will not send nightmare to punish people, in fact I always believe that all the good things are from Him, so, the nightmares and the insomnia? IT'S THE DEVIL SENT BY A FAT BLACK UGLY WOMAN!!! (You know who you are, BITCH!!)

I am happily promoting this blog: http://sneeuwy.blogspot.com/2009/01/sore-loser.html Yeah, that post is about me. How do i know? Coz the previous post was also about me...teehee..YEAH..I SENT THAT F*CKING COMMENT!! SO???

So, people....BEHOLD...I INTRODUCE YOU "THE OTHER WOMAN" also know as .... (*insert here whatever bitchy name you want for her!!) This post is going to be a reply to that post of hers, so here we go (I'm so excited!!!!!!!) --

Bitch said: It a pity such accusation was done to me.I receive a comment and pls bring it on WOMAN!!
I accuse? I will bring hard evidence by the end of this post... (ooiii...who ask you quickly scroll the page down!!!)

Bitch said: It nothing in this world too cruel i have seen alot like you.
I said: Seriously, i dont really understand what the hell she's trying to say. Pity.. Seen a lot like me? You bet...i am one in a billion!!! But i have seen many fat black ugly woman, but you're the first i've known to be called a double homewrecker!! Why double you asked? Coz you wrecked the home which i was building, and you are so gonna wreck your own home!! At least, i am not a divorcee!! BOOOOOO!!!

Bitch said: I am not afraid of you.So WHAT!!
Who said you're afraid of me? If you're not afraid, you wont immediately close down your damn blog and move it somewhere else!! Felt guilty? Felt like you need to run? Felt like you're busted? Unlike me, i stand my ground. None of my post is deleted. I dont even delete my picture with "your Sayang" who was once my fiance. Those are my past which will be a good reminder to me that once upon a time i was so close to marrying an "ASSHOLE!!"

Bitch said: If you want to scold me or whatever you say nothing can stop me from befriend with anybody.
There's a limit in friendship especially when you are "MARRIED". Do you know that "your Sayang" told me once that a boy and a girl or in your case a Bastard and a Bitch can never be a good friend coz they will end up falling for each other? And your case is even worse coz you are married with two kids OMG!!! And your marriage was not based on love (Boooo!!!)

Bitch said: And by the way i heard you oso did that to his friend it so sad keep on blaming on others as though you are perfectionist.
As what you said, "the way i heard". Seriously Bitch, i dont care whatever "my EX-FIANCE" told you about me, coz i DONT GIVE A DAMN!! And, the truth is, i let him befriend whoever shit he wants (even an UGLY BLACK FAT WOMAN LIKE YOU!!), and never once i interfere with his social life (not until he decided to put you as his priority..!!). And you wanna know the ugly truth?? He was the one who controlled my circle of friends!! 1. NO MUSLIM FRIENDS coz he hates them!! (So contrary to who you are!!) 2. No contact with friends over the weekend starting Friday night!! 3. No SMSing friends when i was with him. 4. No dealing about assignments or homeworks or even work when he's around (Caleb...you know all these!! And you experienced some of them yourself..) I am perfectionist?? YES, I AM, SO WHAT?? YOU HAVE PROBLEM WITH THAT??

Bitch said: I heard a lots of story about you.....why not i blog it and let others know there is Kuching (City in one of the state in malaysia) Demon exist in this world.
When you said, "i heard a lot of story about you" i assume it is from the same old person?? Seriously, i will be eternally grateful if you would blog about me and let the whole world know that there is a (you forgot the "a") Kuching Demon (bet he said i'm from Kuching...I'M FROM SIBU, F*CK YOU!!..and if he told you i'm from Kuching, that's a lie!!), so call me Sibu Demon, would you please??? OMG...that sounds like a nice name for a villain...teehehhee.. From now on, you can call me Veronica also know as Sibu Demon (hahahahhah, stupid!!!!!!)

Bitch said: If i am home wrecker did you actually have a permanent HOME? or you urself break that home with your own sellfishness attitude and now keep on hacking other blog and let me now call you BLOG WRECKER!!!!
Ok people, here's a scenario. I have a fiance (clearly i am not married yet but we're engaged if you're stupid enough to even understand this). If i sleep with another guy, should my fiance get mad with me? I can always tell him, "Well, we are not married yet, we are just ENGAGED!!!" This is how "NOT IMPORTANT" the term "ENGAGED" to that UGLY BLACK WOMAN!! Just because i am not yet married, but due to be married, does it mean she can steal my fiance and yet still think she has done nothing wrong?? F*CK YOUR MOTHER!!! And to say that i break the home i was building because of my own selfishness is WRONG!! You know what Bitch, i ended everything BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! SO F*CK YOU!!! And Blog Wrecker?? That's a new term :P Maybe i can add to Wikipedia...hahahahha. And to call me a Blog Wrecker because of two short sentence, woow...I am so powerful la coz i can WRECK A BLOG :P

Bitch said: I think you are educated enough to stop all this crappies maybe you need some soul searching.
Sigh...the same old attack style "educated enough la", "study so much also pointless la", can use other terms or not? Who said educated people cannot attack others? Are you trying to tell me that educated people have no feeling? So, when Professor Dr XXX's husband has an affair with another woman who is also black ugly and fat, should she just keep quiet about it because if she started to get mad, people might call her uneducated despite of her level of education. The difference between me and you woman...I HAVE MY DIGNITY!!! About soul searching, seriously, you dont have to tell me what to do coz you are nobody in my eyes. If I were to put an ant and you side by side, i would notice the ant instead although you are as fat as an elephant!!

Bitch said: It a pity such a highly educated person can be so shallow and narrow minded at times.
Again, the "education" attack again. So lame, kan?? It is such a pity that i let myself believe all his lies since September by believing that you both are just friends!!! I gave him the benefit of doubts but not any longer. YOU'RE BUSTED!!! You both are liars!!!

Bitch said: Dont be creature but be a human instead and learn you lesson and if you think he worth yours why not take back and stop accuse others....
A human will know his/her limit, but a dog will even f*ck his own mother!! You're the later one, so sad!! To take him back?? He's already dead! I am not accusing, wait for the hard evidence...wait ok people...!!

Bitch said: You have no one to play now you trying to attack all his friends is it? Now me i dont know who else in the list.I just hate coward why not face to face with me and settle it rather den attack from behind like no guts.
I have no one to play? Play what ahh? I dont even have time to play, and this is the very reason "YOUR SAYANG" gave me on why he's with you!! I'm attacking all his friends? Get your point right, BITCH!! I have not attacked anyone, but A BITCH LIKE YOU!! I am a coward or you are? You immediately closed down your blog coz you know you're busted. I compared your blog with his, and from there i know whatever he said to me since September were all lies!! To confront you face to face?? I CANT EVEN LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE WITHOUT VOMITTING BLOOD, LET ALONE TO SEE YOU FACE TO FACE. Come to Malaysia and I promise i'll send a pack of dogs to eat you alive and feed your rotten corpse to pigs!!!

I HATE YOU NORMALA ABDUL FATAH!!!

So, here's one of the evidence. EVEN A F*CKING RETARD KNOWS WHAT IS THIS!! Does this look like "JUST FRIENDS" to you guys?? I DONT THINK SO!!

2009-01-03T23:27:00.003+08:00

AIN'T LIFE GRAND?

Yeah, it is. You know what, i went through Smelly Sister's DVD collection, and coz i was somehow bored and didn't feel like doing anything, i randomly picked a movie: THE LAST HOLIDAY. Never heard of the movie before, was trying to guess what's the movie all about seeing the picture of Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz with some really cute guys on the cover, so i thought it must be something about romantic comedy. After watching, i was somehow surprised that the movie is all about heartbroken girls (what a coincidence!!) who in the end found love again eventually , and i really love the way Cameron Diaz found her love back...IT'S SO DAMN ROMANTIC LAH!! Since then, i've been wishing for the same thing to happen, just that i dont think i'll be living in a cottage neither i would be experiencing any winter!! (Unless i move to a country with four seasons..yay!!! I'm praying hard for this :P)

Momma asked why didnt i stay longer. Told her, i would if only i didnt have to work :P Anyway, i am busy building my resume. Working really hard and aiming to publish at least 3 papers by June. I find that i have so much free time now especially over the weekends. I also find myself spending more time catching up with friends, besides making new friends, which is totally great.

Life is getting better, and i am really happy that i am coping really really well with the help of the "Happy Pill". Although i hate to be dependant on drugs, i guess i am left with no choice. Anyway, how bad could it be if popping the Happy Pill could actually make me happy?? No more crying all day long, no more sad feelings, no more angry feelings (only sometimes), and best of all, i can sleep well at night and have all the energy during day time! Now, I am loving my life :)

Anyway, my parents keep reminding me not to worry and do not be sad for what happened. There are a lot of bigger and nicer fish in the sea they said :) The previous fish was only a small "Ikan Bilis" (Anchovy) who fell prey to a fat and poisonous puffer fish and the puffer fish is BLACK!! (Hahahahaha) Told them not to worry coz i will choose my fish very carefully next time, and will never settle for a small Ikan Bilis anymore. Ikan Bilis is such a liar! Crush the Ikan Bilis until hancur with lesung batu!!

It's the beginning of the new semester and i have to register for Research Methodology class. A group of friends asked me to join them backpacking, and since it is only the beginning of the semester, i somehow agreed. We have also agreed to find partners coz travelling without a partner of the opposite sex is so boring. I'm so excited about this!!! Really, i'm loving my life :P At least i am planning to travel with a partner of the opposite sex when I AM SINGLE, not like "someone" who planned everything even when he's still attached, thinking that i was so dumb not to even find out that he was with that fat black ugly woman!! I would run them over should i ever bumped into them on the street one day!! (FUMING!!)

Tomorrow is Sunday and one more day to go :) I'm really really excited!!

2009-01-02T13:40:00.003+08:00

SWEET TASTE OF VENGEANCE

I almost didn't recognize my own self anymore. He turned me into such an evil beast. It is all his fault. And this beast is also his doom, the end of him. He is to be blamed. I am not done with my vengeance. I know the consequences, but i am being optimistic and my alter ego tell me to just focus on the good consequences, and ignore the bad. I will not sleep well at night until i am done with my revenge. The sweetness of vengeance, that is what i am craving for. And i will not stop until i get what i want.

Call me evil, call me a bitch, call me whatever name you want, i couldn't care less. I was hurt and damaged so badly, i don't know what is pain anymore. I will do to them, what they did to me. And i will make sure it will hurt badly.

2009-01-01T01:25:00.003+08:00

WELCOME 2009

Just came back from the celebration to usher the new year. My phone line was jammed due to many outgoing messages and also incoming messages. Nevertheless, i was glad i sent out New Year greetings to all my friends and family and relatives.

My family and I went for the Thanksgiving Mass at Sacred Heart Cathedral, and I took the opportunity to say a little prayer to thank Him for the year 2008. I thank Him for both the good and the bad. And I pray that the New Year will be a new beginning for me that it would be a better year.

After the mass, we went for a family dinner at one of the local seafood restaurant. Had a little too much my tummy was kinda pain because i was too full. After dinner, the siblings decided to go out to celebrate :) Big Brother brought us to one of the lounge owned by his friend, but i didnt really like it coz the music was old and the people were old too..bleahh. So, after a glass of beer, we headed home, leaving Big Bro with his friends.

It's January 1, 2009, and i want to start everything new. I am a new person, no longer i want to look back but to look to a brighter future. So, goodbye 2008, welcome 2009. Whatever it is that life may bring, just bring it on :)

I never failed to mention this: my niece and I have the same birthdate :P So, these two Pisceans want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year 2009 :)

2008-12-31T15:37:00.003+08:00

GOODBYE 2008

It's finally the last day of 2008. Gosh--how time flies :) I have fair share of ups and downs throughout the year, and instead of counting all the bad lucks, i choose to look at the glass as half full, so i'm counting the blessings :)

Despite of the lousy ending, i accept whatever happened with the thought that "God has erased many things that i have planned." Perhaps He has greater plans for me, nobody knows. I will just live my life to the fullest and let things unfold. The greatest year end gift i have got for myself is the "Gift of Freedom".

I feel strange being single after consistently being in relationships since i was 14 (i know..that's such a young age to even have a BF :P) But, now..seriously, i really appreciate the freedom i have. Freedom is a bliss, a luxury.

I have the freedom to decide, i have the freedom to do whatever i want, i have the freedom to be wherever i want and i have the freedom to be with whoever i want! Come 2009, i'll travel as much as i can :) Will grab any travel buddy i could find. And thank Air Asia for their cheap air fare...niahahaha. Eyeing on Bali, Phuket, Krabi, Manukan Island, and many more..!!

So, what's my resolution for 2009?

1) I want to start my little business and work super hard!
2) I want to get admissions to top universities in Europe or Canada
3) I want to be fabulous *wink*
4) I want to get more piercings and tattoos
5) I want to travel A LOT!!
6) I want to take up photography
7) I want to be more positive and optimistic
8) And last but not least, I want to be the BEST :D in whatever it is lah.. so i guess the competitive Veronica is back!!! (Think Christina Yang from Grey's Anatomy or Bree Van de Kamp on Desperate Housewives :P)

Ok guys, i would love to take this opportunity to wish all my readers:

"HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009. May the Good Lord shower His abundant blessings upon you :)"

2008-12-30T00:46:00.003+08:00

XMAS WAS A BLAST!!!

Who said spending Christmas without the other half is boring? I never had such a great Xmas for a very very long time! My mind was totally free!! From the broken relationship, i learned to expect less from others but to expect more from myself. Seriously, i am coping really really well with the help of Amitriptyline. And to my surprise, everyone back at home was happy for me for you-know-what :) "Nick, you deserve better". Yes, i know i deserve better than a f*cking liar! Ok people, i gotta rest after a really long journey on a really bad road trip. Thank God for the invention of 4WD. I doubt a Ferrari would even be able to move on a road like Sibu-Mukah road!

So, later guys :)

2008-12-25T01:11:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Just came back from church for Christmas Eve mass. It was raining cats and dogs and the church was full!! Smelly Sister and I decided to just sit outside of the church, camwhoring while waiting for the holy communion. I know i know it's not the right thing to do but i was feeling a little dizzy so i just needed a place to sit down. Guess my blood pressure was low again.
Today is Christmas day. It is a very special day for my family because it is the only celebration that we celebrate where all family members will gather for a small feast. After church tomorrow, we will drive back to my Granma's place which is around 3 hours drive from Sibu. And on Saturday, we will have a parrrtyyyy!! Momma agreed to give me two bottles of wine :D and Smelly Sister has a bottle of Swing, and cousin Judith has a lot of hard liqour!! But i think i'll think i'll just stick to wine :P So bad no sisha :D

I bought Sony voice recorder for rm299 today to record interviews which i have to do. Nabei betul, holiday also still have to work, but i dont care coz it's not like interviewing people is something so hard to do :) And i bought myself a Panasonic hair curler...yippiee :) And Momma didnt let me use her Estee Lauder nail polish, "use that Christian Dior instead," she said... :(

I am now back on medication for anti-depressant. I guess i am feeling a lot better :D Goodbye loser!! I will not miss you at all!! In fact, i am living a life larger than life. Beat that, sucker!!

Told ya, i can never take proper picture anymore :P

p/s: I will be Internetless until next Monday, so no update until then ok :) Have a great weekend, people :D

2008-12-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

HOME.SWEET.HOME.INDEED

I am home again, and this time i am home for Christmas :) We have big plans for Christmas, and we are going to have a big family gathering :P I am looking forward to meet my cousins and grandparents :)

I was asked many questions about what happened between me and my ex-BF, and all i could say, we just call it quit. No further explanation. And to my surprise, my parents are totally supportive of whatever decision i made. Oh by the way, for my friends who aren't aware of what happened yet, i'm not getting married any sooner :P So, you still have to wait a little longer for the invitation card -- maybe 4 or 5 years later :D I'm not kidding :)

Yeah, maybe you thought by then i will be too old to conceive, well, Elizabeth gave birth to John the Baptist at a very old age, an age which everyone thought impossible for a woman to conceive. Our fate lies in the hands of God.

8 more days before we say goodbye to year 2008 and welcome year 2009. I have a brand new life ahead of me which i will bravely embrace. It is time for me to take charge of my life. And i am quoting from someone, "you have to be selfish to others in order for you to be kind to yourself". So it is time for me to take charge of my own life. It is time for me to determine my own path to success. And i will strive hard to get what i want in life. What goes around comes around. Beat it!

Ok guys, i will blog again whenever i am free. Gotta shower now, and will try to sleep, if still cannot sleep, maybe i'll just watch the 4 hours of Jesus of Nazareth DVD. Also, Momma will be bringing me to see a specialist tomorrow to get my sleeping disorder fixed! What a great family i have :) I will not exchange my family for anything else in this world! Long live The Clements :P

2008-12-22T05:06:00.002+08:00

DISORDERS

I may have denied having eating disorder, but i am not denying the fact that i am suffering from sleeping disorder. Have not been able to sleep properly for a month now, and i can say i am very very sleep deprived. 5.30 am and i am still awake, unable to sleep. My last resort would be the doctor, perhaps he could prescribe me with some sleeping pills.

I am coping well with the break-up, but the post-effect: insomnia. My greatest concern would be the effect of sleep deprivation on my brain. Read that sleep deprivation could cause brain damage. SCARY!!

I am trying to look at the bright side of being an insomniac -- i have more time :D I have more time to do my work. Basically i have all the time i want in the world!! I no longer require 8 hours of sleep. Yippie :)

But, seriously, this is not a good thing. Being small, skinny and anemic, i think sleeping disorder weakens my body defense. I think lah..coz sleep is important to allow our brain and body to rest and recuperate and rejuvenate.

My trip to Sibu this time will include an annual medical check-up, besides seeing a therapist. I am damaged, and broken, hence i need a lot of hands to help me mend. And i know i am strong enough to bounce back, stand on my own feet and face the new life, and not looking back.

2008-12-21T21:20:00.008+08:00

I'LL.BE.HOME.FOR.CHRISTMAS~

Yippie!! I'll be flying home tomorrow. And until 5 minutes ago, i have no idea what time my flight suppose to be :D My Dad was the one who bought the ticket for me, and i was shocked to see my ticket costs RM400++ and it's a one way ticket (chishh..why suddenly i'm humming to the "one way ticket" song by Boney M). Talking about Boney M, i have been listening to their Christmas album for hours now. If you're celebrating Christmas, you definitely know which album i'm talking about. Ok lah..let's take 5 and watch this video first :D

When i was in KL, I was the happiest girl coz i was shopppping sakan (see...even the word shopping has extra two "p"s :P) And with Momma around, i was even happier :D But, nevertheless, i was still broke coz after Momma and Smelly Sister left, i stayed for another two nights in KL and every night i intoxicate myself with either beer or cocktails and steaks at BB Park...damn shiok lahh. But also i was broke coz i was paying for accomodations!! Dammit, next time i promise i'll buy sleeping bag and sleep at the road side :P Just joking lah, Momma will get freaked out!!

Met Harold and Fabian (sorry no picture coz the dumb-me didnt bring my camera so i have to use my cousin's camera, so i have to wait for her to send the pictures to me). Another round of light drinking with a jug of Tiger and a jug of my favorite Mojito. KL is damn shiok for partying and hanging out lahhh! I think i'll move to KL very soon although i hate the traffic very much :P, but i think i have the reason to tolerate the traffic :D

Actually, i'm quite stressed now coz i'm not done with my Christmas shopping!! I bought Starbucks organizer for Dad (i dont think he reads my blog, so it's ok i write what i bought here :P), very pretty and nice Lavender fruit cake (wtf~) for Momma (she likes cakes and biscuits), and suppose to get the latest Pink album for Smelly Sister, but couldnt find it everywhere!! For the rest of my siblings, they wont be home for Christmas :(, so no need to get hahahahaha.

Tomorrow morning i have to run some errands, and have to go to many places. To OUM, UTM, Prof's house for a quick meeting, help friend book flight ticket, and send Cheddie to a pet-sitter :P It's only RM3 per day, and i dont mind paying coz seriously i prefer not to burden anyone pet-sitting Cheddie (unless i really really have no choice).

Ok lah, i think i have to start packing my stuff. Hopefully my baggage wont be more than 15 kg like before, coz so far i have not managed to keep my baggage less than 15 kg, and end up paying RM100++ for extra weight.

Oh by the way, PLEASE DO VOTE FOR HAROLD & MARIANA here Vote tau, jangan tak vote :)

So, later guys :)

I.Love.Shopping@Isetan!!

No, it wasn't snowing in Malaysia, but heck..I simple love the scarf :D

2008-12-21T00:21:00.002+08:00

I.AM.VERONICA

Few more days to Christmas, and 10 more days to new year. I have gathered what's left of me, and promised that i will just move on. Cooling Period thingy is a total bullshit!!! I know i'll be happier on my own. I'LL BE HAPPIER ON MY OWN!!!!!

NO MOOD TO BLOG ~~ Where's my Cognac???

2008-12-16T01:56:00.007+08:00

A QUICKIE

Thought of writing something before i leave for a trip to KL tomorrow. It's already 2 am, and for the past 3 weeks, i have been having difficulty sleeping. I'll normally doze off at 6 am or 7 am, when it's time for everyone to wake up and head off for work. Lucky me, my working time is still flexible :P

It suppose to be the registration day for new Postgraduate students tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, but heck, I have been a student in UTM since 2000, so i dont think they are going to be so strict with me. Anyway, i am working with one super-woman :) If you asked me whether i am proud working with my current supervisor, YES, I am loving every minute of it although at times she can give me tonnes of stress coz she is such a perfectionist. But, not really a problem for me because i am quite a perfectionist myself :)

I am trying to picture what would be Momma's reaction when she sees me tomorrow. "Nick, you're still skinny!!" "Nick, havent you been sleeping for 100 years??" - coz of the eyebags and dark circles. " "Nick, what happened to you skin? You're breaking out so much!!" - coz of the change in hormones, they have gone haywire..bleahhh. But, i am glad i'm going to see Momma tomorrow in KL because it also mean one thing - SHOPPING!!! Who doesnt love shopping? Who doesnt love retail therapy?

Next week is Christmas, and seriously, it sucks to celebrate Christmas and then New Year with a wounded heart :P, and also without that special person in your life anymore. Oh by the way, we are still in talking terms, and of course we are trying to work something out to mend the relationship. But, seriously, i am just amazed at how hardheaded i can be!! I will not change my mind :( Just pray that one day i will. I still sayang him very very much. This is one thing for sure.

I have nothing much to write about anymore. Just that, i find that some of the new students are pretty annoying. Just because they are from the other side of the world, they are acting as if it's the end of the world coz now they are in Malaysia. Dont tell me story like "i'm so scared and alone to be in Malaysia coz i'm so far away from my family" when you're already as old as 30 years old. I left my family when i was 18 and i'm from the other side of Malaysia :P Beat that!! Maybe i could blog more about campus life :) Should be interesting huh.

Ok people. I think i should start packing mah bags now. Told smelly sister to bring her swim suit coz The Coronade has indoor swimming pool...ahhahahah. I'm so gonna swim until my body kembang like ikan paus!!

I.Cannot.Take.Proper.Picture.Anymore.(: -I'm gonna pose like a retard from this day onwards...ahhahaha (syok sendiri :P)

2008-12-13T01:28:00.003+08:00

Demotivated

I feel so demotivated to do anything. For no apparent reason, i am drained off energy. I have deadline to meet for a conference paper and a journal, and i am responsible to study the appropriation process of the newly-implemented Blackberry usage among Deans of UTM, and i am not even done with the questionnaires yet. I haven't finished preparing for the team's presentation for next week's colloquium, haven't studied for IELTS, i am having mid-life crises at the age of 26 and i am confused.

2008-12-10T01:16:00.003+08:00

2008-12-08T14:07:00.004+08:00

YOU'RE.NO.LONGER.MINE

Sometimes i wonder how many gallons of tears do one have? Because mine seems like it's bottomless. I bought eye cream to reduce the puffiness of my eyes, or you might have mistaken me for a puffer fish for once. I had a jab two days ago, had very low blood pressure and low sugar level, but i think the jab is for something else. I think i start to love needles! Tattoo needles, piercing needles, injection needles, NEEDLES ARE MY NEW BEST FRIEND! (Crazy!!)

I actually wrote something but decided to delete it in the end. You know what, i think it's pointless to argue anymore, because no matter what, i doubt very much that i will change my mind since i am already so cold, and he will still die die want to keep her anyway. I seriously have to wake up and give myself a tight slap on me face and start to realize that he is no longer mine, he is now somebody's gift to herself and she wants to keep him forever, and what hurts the most is that he's letting this to happen. So, i am walking away for good.

I promise I'll rise and be a stronger person than i am today. Thanks for the memories, again. I will never forget you.

2008-12-07T21:12:00.003+08:00

I.DARE

I'm playing "I dare you..." with myself. Seriously, i dare to drive my car at 150 kmh at Pasir Gudang Highway and kiss a trailer's ass so hard, that i will suffer from massive brain damage that i'd die on the spot, and yet i bet i can still smile because i dont have to face all these shits anymore!!!

You made me, it's you, because of her, you made me!!

2008-12-07T11:45:00.005+08:00

SUNDAY.MORNING

It's not the usual Sunday morning, i know. I feel aimless. Maybe i should start going to church now. When was the last time i actually feel the presence of Him whenever i pray? I guess that was like 6 years ago, before i left Catholic church just for the sake of love, the very essence of me, the belief which i once held on so tight.

Momma was trying hard to pacify me, to console me, telling me that everything will be ok. Just be strong, and i will pull through everything. It is undeniable that a person would be in a depression state, unable to think rationally at times because of the self-denial that everything is finally over. IT'S GAME OVER! But, i know no matter what, my Momma will always stand by me. Although she is somehow sad over my sudden decision to leave this country to pursue my studies. "I need to do some soul searching in Rome, then i can also visit Pope Benedict at Vatican City :P." That's what i was trying to tell her. I know it is heartbreaking for her because 8 years i have been away from the family, and now i want to leave them to go someplace even further. I received another good news from Politecnico di Milano, and still waiting for an answer from Universita di Bologna. I missed deadline of the last cycle of Phd intake by just 2 months!!

I'm addicted to many things now, and none of them are good. I loathe the way i deal with my problems. Stupid Veronica!

2008-12-07T00:47:00.002+08:00

More.Than.Words

(Stolen from deviantart)

2008-12-06T13:21:00.003+08:00

EATING DISORDER

Once again i am denying the fact that i am having eating disorder. I know i am losing weight, but i am not suffering from neither anorexia nor bulimia. I am totally fine, just that dealing with the ordeals for the past two weeks has totally ruin my appetite. I am currently surviving on cereal drinks and microwaved food! Anything that is as easy as junk-in-the-microwave-and-voila-its-done-you-can-eat-now kinda food is my best friend at the moment :P As much as some of you are concerned, i am too very much concerned about my eating behavior. I am drinking Ensure to ensure that i am getting complete nutrition.

Woke up not feeling well this morning, have a really bad headache, got a temperature and nose was a little runny. I got phone calls as early as 8 am, and i couldn't sleep well the whole night. The night was long, the day was even longer, and since it's going to be a public holiday on Monday, it is going to be a very long, dreadful weekend. CAN SOMEONE MURDER ME PLEASE???

I didn't answer any call last night, not even from Momma or Smelly Sister or even my cousin. I think i wanna create a new personal record: "The Most Calls I Ever Missed :P" This is what happened when you just dont feel like doing anything, other than eating ice-cream and watching replays of Friends and The Nanny :P

I feel like doing some book shopping today. I think i need a new set of stationery, and i bought the latest copy of Reader's Digest with a free copy and i have finished reading both copies. I think i wanna start my old hobby, making greeting cards or perhaps start something with my abandoned website (boooooooooooo...). I have a couple of business ideas on my mind, but like usual, i have no guts to execute them just yet. Except one :D

My eyes are twitching, my hormone has gone haywire that my "best friend" came early this month :( Anyway, i'm feeling a lot better today. It's the cooling-period. Feel like going to the movie, but i rather not go if i have to go alone. ANYONE WANNA GO TO THE MOVIE WITH ME???????????????????????????

I'll stop here. Since it is Saturday, i dont think i'll blog that much today. Or maybe not :P

No, i wasnt naked, i was wearing a tube.

2008-12-05T13:19:00.002+08:00

WHAT'S WRONG?

I don't understand why my intention in pursuing my dreams comes into question. I just don't get it when my personal goal is seen as something worthless in the eyes of others. I am not ruling out the possibilities that i am being labeled as selfish just because i spend too much time chasing the goals of my life. And the thing is, i just don't see any problem with that.

It is even more selfish to tie me down just because you think it would benefit all of us. It is even more cruel to take away my dreams just because you think it is the best thing to do (at least for you). It is heartless to expect me to be contented with what i have right now, when me on the other hand still believe in my ability that i am able to achieve more. You said, do not be complacent, always go for more. Or perhaps that is only applicable to you?

"So what if she completed her Phd, she will definitely want more." Enough is only enough when i think it is enough, not when someone else think it is enough. If my passion in pursuing my ambition seems to be the problem, i am afraid there is nothing i could do. Take away my dream, and you will take away all of me, and i'll be left with nothing. Do you think we wil be happier that way?

I am leaving this place because i have no reason to be here anymore. Is it wrong that i try to find solace somewhere else? I dont get it why you think i wanted to end everything because of my plan to study abroad? I want to study abroad because everything has ended, not the other way round! By the way, you might have forgotten this. THE OTHER WOMAN. She's the reason why i decided to quit, not my chase-after-the-dreams. And I know you're still very much on her defense.

I think i have found my ultimate solution.

Loving people means giving them the freedom to be who they choose to be and where they choose to be. Love is allowing people to be in your life out of choice. To have something or someone, you let go. - Andrew Matthews

2008-12-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

JUST LIKE WHAT I HAVE EXPECTED

2008-12-04T09:22:00.006+08:00

THE SKY LOOKS GLOOMY

Woke up early, wanted to sleep more but am having difficulty slumbering, so might as well wake up and do something. After 11 days of tending to the after-effect of a dying relationship, i just noticed that i am finally out of clean panties!!! NO MORE PANTIES!!! Horror of all horror!! What am i gonna do?? O_o... I have laundry piling as high as Mount Kilimanjaro (hahahah i bet you have no idea what mountain is that :P, at least some of you dont know :D). So this morning, i'll start my day with house-keeping :P

I tell you one weird secret about me. Actually i really love cleaning. When i decided to clean, i will make sure it is super clean!! If i washed my clothes, i can let them spin in the washing machine for 10 times until the pantyhose is koyak-rabak! I can sit in the toilet scrubbing each tile so clean, you can even lick the toilet bowl and say, "Taste so lemon-y, i like :D". But, i also have one problem with house-keeping. I cant seem to be able to keep the house clean and neat for more than 12 hours T_T Just dont ask me why, coz i really dont know....

Ohh...the rubbish truck is here to pick up the rubbish. I wonder how them people can stand the smell of the rubbish. But, seriously-lah, we should salute these people, because if not because of them, we might end up living in a rubbish dump by now :D Tabik Rubbish Collector :)

I'm losing weight...so much, even my skinny jeans is now lose :( CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? What can be skinnier than a skinny jeans?? And we are talking about "ULTRA SKINNY" jeans here. Duhhh..i am so lame. I am so skinny i think the perfect husband for me to marry would be the broom :P Just joking lah!! I am still as normal :P Normal means still as skinny as normal lah...hahahahaha. I wonder how many girls wish they could say what i have just said :D

OMG GRE is so difficult. What animal is that you ask me?? It stands for Graduate Record Examination, admission requirement for many graduate schools in the United States and some English speaking countries. It seems so difficult i wanna cry...bohohohohoh. Why do i need to know so difficult English words? I know the basics can already what :( What animal is equivocate, opulence, penury, sycophant, garrulity, misanthropy and the list goes on and on and on and on. Basically, they deliberately search for the most difficult word in the Oxford dictionary and expect us to know the meaning. I have been reading Reader's Digest since young, and still i dont know many words :( My vocabulary is so poor i think i should stop reading Doraemon and switch to Oxford Dictionary instead. Ooohh ohh tell you another secret about me, i love reading in the toilet :D and i love reading thesaurus especially the one with idioms, examples on how to use the word, and also pictures :D

I am off to the library today, i think i am quite malfunction at home. You know what, my blog is blocked in UTM...teehehehehe. It's not that bad what my blog, dont know why they block my blog. It says it contains some words that fall into the OBSCENE category...chishh...never knew that i've been studying in a kindergarten all along for the past 7 years!! One eff word also kenot... But it's good and also the reason why i wanna go to the library. Since it is blocked, then i will not be able to access it and i will not be able to update my blog :D Lately, i just feel like writing and writing and writing :) It somehow calms me down :P

I really cannot wait to watch one movie...it's called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I have been watching the trailer for so many times i wish i have Doraemon so that i can watch the movie even before the release :D It's a must watch movie ok.. Why? Coz i said so :P Brad Pitt is cute de ne......

Ok lah...i think i'll stop here. Will blog again...tonight :D (It might be sooner than tonight...ahhahahah) Have a great day ahead, people :)

I have a thing for caps :P

2008-12-03T21:46:00.003+08:00

just.feel.like.writing.something

head is full of craps to write. nothing in particular. just feel like blogging. life is pretty much in a mess. so, i'm a little bit disoriented at the moment. work performance is a little affected as well. but, no worries, i'll sort everything back to normal in no time.

have you watched madagascar 2 yet? super-funny-must-watch-cannot-be-missed movie!! i remember how he imitated king julian talking about giving offering to the water god in the volcano...hahahahah. he is the funniest guy i have ever known. how can one not love this guy :)

anyway, i'll be flying home soon and dad has been asking when i wanna fly coz he wanna buy my tickets. i just couldnt decide the dates yet. momma asked me to stay there longer, maybe i would since i have nothing to look forward to here in jb. new year? it's going to be a lonely new year, so might as well i celebrate with my family. christmas? no more christmas gift to exchange with him :(

oh..ohh..i am registering for ielts instead of toefl. my exam is going to be on january 10 :) Apparently, universities in europe doesnt require very high ielts score although i am confident in getting good scores anyway. received good news from university of trento in italy, just need to wait for the opening of the next cycle of phd intake. Also eyeing on university of toronto in canada. told momma if i studied in canada, i would migrate and stay there for the rest of my life, and she got freaked out O_o!!

i think i am hungry, but i just dont feel like eating. i feel like eating my momma's cooking right now, or i dont eat at all. i want my momma's cooking!! i want my momma's curry!! i want my momma's bubur kacang!! i want air kosong from our mineral pot back at home!!

my parents just got back from jerusalem. finally, they went to jerusalem!! i want i want i want! and they were in egypt too, and momma said spyhnx and pyramids are boring :P "just a normal brown colored stones -- nothing so special". cannot blame her, she wanted to be a scientist once upon a time, not an archeologist :D is an archeologist considered a scientist too?? maybe huh :P dont bother, who cares.

omg--i'm bored to the max, despite of the project files passed down to me to sort and raw data for me to transcribe and code. have a few papers to write, but just dont feel like doing it at the moment. missed the deadline of one of the conference, dammit!! gotta find another one then. gotta prepare for mcmc colloquium in kl on dec 18. not sure what to prepare, lantak jak lah.

i think i have enough of crapping. i'll stop here. bye.

i.was.just.faking.the.smile

2008-12-03T14:16:00.003+08:00

THE.PIECES.DONT.FIT.ANYMORE

Slept at 6 am this morning, was having high fever last night. Mom called at 9 am just to ask how I was doing. She said she's going to the bank and asked whether i need some extra cash, perhaps she thought some retail therapy could cheer me up a little. I refused though, because i really dont need extra cash. With the little paycheck i made working as a Research Officer, i believe i can still manage everything, furnish my car installment, house rent, study loan, bills and more bills, and a cup or two of Starbucks Green Tea Latte once in a while.

We decided to cool everything off, giving each other some space before we make the ultimate life-death decision: whether to proceed or totally abort everything. Which i think the later will be more likely to happen because i am already cold, too cold to even think about it. Nevertheless, i still could see a glimpse of hope by the end of the tunnel, so i will not give up on everything totally yet.

I have not put my status as single. I have not deleted his picture from my Friendster, Facebook and even my blog. He is still in my YM and MSN although i hardly log in to chat with anybody. His stuffs are still neatly kept in the wardrobe, our albums are intact, i still keep everything as it used to be. No changes, except my heart.

My life feels empty, i have moved on a little, with the ability to focus better on my work and research. I put my trust in the Lord. As what Lai Leng said, "if God puts us to it, He will pull us through it".

I will take whatever space i have to pick up the pieces, hoping that i will be able to stand up again and be a stronger person. No one says life is easy. This is just a big bump and long rocky winding path i have to go through in my life. We will be ok, no matter what the decision might be by the end of the day.

I.Feel.No.Joy.I.Hear.No.Joy.I.See.No.Joy

2008-12-03T01:33:00.002+08:00

BROKEN

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
Barely holdin on to you

2008-12-02T14:09:00.002+08:00

THE CHOICE IS YOURS, BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW

One simple question, it's me or her. I walked away and shut my heart totally soon after realizing the answer was not me. Thank you for the memories. I promise i will get through all these shits, although it is hard to accept the fact that you chose her rather than me (although you claimed you both are "just friends"). I will not miss you no more.

By the way, i watched Miami Ink last night and saw this tattoo on a girl: it's a peacock with the tail curling around her hips. Damn cun. I am getting one, still looking for another damn nice design. Gonna pierce my naval and tongue too!! Can you imagine a lecturer with a pierced tongue? Maybe i'll just got for naval then :P

Why should i miss someone when that someone is missing someone else? Talk is cheap!! And enough with the excuses already... I hate that woman.

2008-12-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

INSOMNIAC

I have not been able to sleep properly for 10 days now. Surviving on just a meal a day, i am very close to killing myself. Momma got worried and pestering me to fly home at the soonest possible. I didn't tell her much other than I'll be going home alone this time. I bet she knows what i meant, or perhaps it is a Mother's instinct, she can sense something is not right.

I have deadlines to meet, yet i just don't feel like doing anything. I am totally malfunction at the moment, at least as a human being. It is normal, i said to myself. These are just the normal things people have to go through after a break up. But, they are too painful to bear. And the thought that he is sad, it is even more unbearable to me.

I miss him, very much :(

2008-12-01T15:40:00.002+08:00

Brand.New.Day

It's December 1st, and 30 more days and it's going to be a new year. Touched my own heart, and seriously i am still very confused. It's not about the paper chase. It is about the ability to make him happy for the rest of his life. I am just not the one. I am incapable of giving him that, so i decided to quit.

Canceled the wedding package we booked about a year ago, and i couldn't help but to cry whenever i see the calendar of my N95: 5 December - Gown Fitting. Which girl's heart will not break upon seeing that, knowing that it is not going to happen.

As much as i want to give it another try, i refuse. I made up my mind, no turning back i said since the day i drove out of Singapore. It's over. I truly believe in fate. If God really wants us to be together, we will be together again.

I made a very big mistake today by calling him. I shouldn't have. We both are still very much affected by our emotion, and i fear that our decision will be based on our emotion alone. 6 years, i know it is a very long time. But how about the rest of our life? I'd rather let him go now than to spend the rest of my life with him and yet not able to put smiles on his face. I'd suffer within, and i know he would too. We both are grown-ups. Let's think sensibly.

The day i made up my mind, i promised myself with my own blood i will not change my mind. Please don't make me change my mind. Take care of yourself, and till we meet again.

2008-11-30T22:24:00.004+08:00

ALL.GOOD.THINGS.COME.TO.AN.END

+ I will not blame you for what happened, for i only have myself to blame.
+ I will pray that you will find happiness and joy always, and that you will find the true love of your life very soon.
+ I pray that you will marry the love of your life, and have a cute daughter which you will name Pebble.
+ I pray that God will shower you with His abundant blessings and love.
+ I thank God for someone like you.

It has not been easy for me, neither it is easy for you i know. We have been through fair share of ups and downs. I always believe in fate, and i hope you do too. If we are meant to be together, we will be together again. This song is for you.

Take care, Yngwie Kwek Choo En, i shall cherish the past 6 years we had together.

2008-11-30T15:15:00.003+08:00

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!

I'd kill myself if i don't share this with you guys. I almost roll of the floor laughing watching this :P

Enjoy :)

p/s: I used to do some movie reviews in the past, and i always include so many spoilers :P I THINK I'M GOING TO DO IT AGAIN :D Don't say i didn't warn you the next time you read my movie reviews :P

2008-11-30T01:21:00.004+08:00

LET'S BE HAPPY

Enough with all the sad post. Now, let's talk about something happier. You know what time is it? It's Christmas time!! For those who simply do not celebrate Christmas, it is just another time of the year. But, for me...it is family time!! Although i have some glitches with my 2nd Bro for the past few days over something. Yeah, how sad my life is. Not only i have relationship problem, i even have family problem. I even have pet problem now....Cheddie is so stinko although i clean him regularly..!!

Told Mom to ask Dad to book my air ticket home, and the next question she asked, "Are you coming back alone?" "Bale", I said. I have no idea how to face the people back at home. Chishh...whatever lah!

I watched Quarantine a couple of days ago with my friends, and seriously...that show is so scary!! I promise i almost vomit in the cinema throughout the show!! And after the show, i have headache. Basically, everyone has headache :( But all in all, it's a nice movie :D But, the beginning part super-damn lame!! Go and watch and you will know what i mean.

I have decided to turn into a total nerd!! Now that i am all by myself, i guess i have tonnes of free time :D (How pathetic am i, trying my best to be positive) So, i am going to read and read and read. More time to do more research and publications...yippie!! Tomorrow is the deadline for another paper, and i have not started anything...SHIT!! Talking about conference, i doubt i will be going to Phuket for the ICCEE Conference because of the political unrest in Thailand. Not gonna risk myself of getting shot over there. (Deepest sympathy to the families of Mumbai Massacre victims)

I have the weirdest dream ever. Wanted to blog about it, but my dream was so complicated i think i'll just forget it. Anyway, it has been a week and i have not received a single phone call. Seeing how it looks in my facebook, i can fully confirmed that he is gone. So, let's get back to life!

See how i smile or not?? Like damn annoying liddat huh :P

Life is a game, it's either you play the game, or you call it a quit...

2008-11-29T14:44:00.002+08:00

I.WILL.SURVIVE

I wrote a super long post, cursing and swearing, then decided to delete everything. Enough is enough. I just have to accept that everything finally comes to an end. The ring on my finger? It is still there. Too pretty to be removed.

I am registering for TOEFL exam. It's the first step to studying abroad. Eyeing on Europe if not Canada. I must leave this place. I have no reason to be here anymore. He was the only reason I am here. And this place has too much memory of us. Not a day pass without a teardrop as long as i am here. Heartbroken? It's not only broken, it shattered into million pieces.

There's no turning back.

2008-11-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

DAMN.THAT.WOMAN

I can feel anger is brewing inside of me. Day by day, the anger gets more intense. I can feel the urge for a sweet revenge. I will not regret this. Never i will. It's time for a "do or die".

I guess it is time for me to forget everything, and accept the fact that i am all by myself now. Any regret? NO. Just the extreme anger for the "damn home-wrecker". I WISH NOTHING BUT YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!!

My heart is already closed. I am not turning back. The betrayal is killing me. Every time i think of it, i feel suffocated. Revenge shall be mine. Yes, i am taking revenge, and i will make sure it will hurt you as much as you have hurt me.

Told Momma i am leaving. This place has too much memory of us. I shall leave someplace far far away. Somewhere out of this region, and stay there i will for the rest of my life. No turning back, no turning back i said. I am too cold for love. There is no such thing called love, but a game.

2008-11-23T20:47:00.005+08:00

IT IS TIME

..to let go and move on
..to pick up the pieces and walk away
..to accept defeat and yet still hold my head up high

My heart is shattered into pieces. Revenge shall be mine. As much as you hurt me, so will i hurt you. For now, I'll accept the defeat, and i shall rest my case. Because whatever happened, i believe i still deserve to smile.

2008-11-20T13:46:00.002+08:00

value.of.life

many people take their lives for granted. due to poor judgment, many tempt to take their own lives. happened mainly among young adults. why? immature? lack of self confidence? or simply giving up on life?

no one says life is easy, or meant to be easy. ups and downs, bumps and humps, all those are part of life. smooth ride throughout our life? almost impossible, or perhaps totally impossible.

there are times i hate my life as it is. and there are times i love my life. love it or hate it, it's either way. ultimately, the choice is in our hand. life comprises of two choices, it's either do or die.

in my case, i'm prone to choose "die" than do. how weak am i. boo!!! lame!! i am such a loser!!! i hate my own life it makes me hate people around me!! or isit the people around me that make me hate my own life?? it doesnt matter, who cares anyway, the point is, life is fucked!! i gotta admit i am very cynical about life. life is the living torture. yes...it's such a torture to the mind, body and soul!!

there are times i would fake the smile, fake the laugh, fake the joy, fake the happiness. i'm a fake!! i fake being jolly because i am not a jolly person. not until recently. i feel gloomy most of the time, feeling rather lost in life, not knowing where to go, losing the navigation. GPS on my N95? Useless at this point of life. Even in real life, GPS can be wrong. Turn left it says when there is not turning left but the drain. so, it's the dead end. what're you gonna do when you meet the dead end? turn around and move on? i am tired of u-turning. simply tired.

i'm off to bed!! dont wish to wake up very soon. bye.

2008-11-11T11:25:00.002+08:00

I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN

I'm talking about my car, and it is giving me the same problem AGAIN! FUCK THEM ALL!! I'm fuming, but am trying to stay calm instead and concentrate on the more important things. Going to handle an important research workshop till Friday, so people at Proton, till then you can sleep tight. I promise I'll raise hell soon after.

2008-11-03T13:20:00.002+08:00

ANGRY

I am angry with myself. I am just angry with myself for being such a failure. I angry with myself for committing into something too soon. I am angry for not able to be on par with my peers. I am angry for letting go all the golden opportunities i could have. I am angry because i am such a coward in making the right decisions, afraid of hurting others and yet jeopardizing my own self. I am angry because of my cynical view of my own capabilities and intelligence. I am angry because i am still struggling to achieve what i want in life!! I am angry because i am afraid of making the wrong decision just because what is right for me doesn't seems right to others.

It's already November 3rd and i am counting the days. Counting for what, i am not so sure. I just see the days of my life are being wasted, seeing all the good opportunities i could have ever had flying away, far far away.

I think i am being emo again :(

2008-11-01T01:51:00.002+08:00

LET'S MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY

Have a lot of things to write, but i refused. I think i'll go watch Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet lagi bagus!

Anyway it's 2 am in the morning and i have just finished washing my toilet..bleahhh!! Cheddie is super grumpy too today (just like Bie). He bit my thigh when i let him lose on the couch while i was watching TV. Fed him with McDonald french fries, and KFC today :P I so sayang my Hamster :D

2008-11-01T00:01:00.005+08:00

TRUE OR FALSE?

A good friend of Bie did some numerology using my Birthday, and said I have a sad life. Not that i believe in numerology or any kind of fortune telling, but that guy must have made a very good wild guess. At some point, i do think that i have a sad life! F*CK!! I hate my life...! Maybe it's time for some "reformasi" :( Life has been so predictable it bores us. I dont wish for a complicated life, i just want a comfortable and happy life. I just want to do what i want. And i am halfway there, and the road is still rocky i know. I am willing to walk through the rocky and winding road, but i'm unsure of the other half. I notice he seems tired of everything, and i wont blame him should he look for comfort somewhere else. I only have myself to be blamed, and i am ready for it :(

When your spouse starts comparing your love life with others, it could mean only one thing, he/she is unhappy. Never compare, because a relationship is not only about yourself, it concerns the other person as well. If i am going to compare, the list could have been longer than Nile river! Yeah, that's just a joke. Let me say this again, I hate my life! And that's not a joke.

What a sad way to begin my weekend T_T

2008-10-31T10:17:00.003+08:00

IT'S FRIDAY (AGAIN!!)

It feels like the last Friday was just yesterday. Why time is moving so fast i can hardly catch my breath? I guess i am getting old :( I seriously want to consider BOTOX :D (can hear some chattering at the back :P) Just joking lah, at the age of 26, i should begin to worry about the effect of gravity on me (or rather us).

Was reading this news and i wonder why i wasn't so lucky? That's my dream to win 20 million jackpot!! If i win 20 million, i sure will buy myself a designer house and a designer car and designer clothes and travel all over the world in 80 days. Then after that, i'll continue my study again :P

Nothing will change my decision to pursue my doctoral studies and i am determine to complete it within 2 years instead of 3 years and i think it is possible with the help of my current supervisor. All i need is super hard work and patience and be-gone with all the pest who just want to leech on me to help them with their nonsensical problems. But, if you need my help genuinely, i'll definitely help. That's my weakness :( Why do i love to help me so much. I know sometimes Bie hate it so much whenever help someone out of good will. Help is all about good will i think? If you're helping someone and still expect something in return, might as well dont help at all!!! I JUST LOVE HELPING PEOPLE IN NEED!!

It's Friday again, and i have class this weekend. I am super evil, because i insist on having class although my students will be having their midterm an hour after the class ...teehehehe. I think they are being pampered too much. Even the assignment questions, they look more like exercise questions to me, and yet i still have students who think the questions are difficult and start dropping me a call at 11 pm at night!

Yeah, i'm talking about 11 pm at night lehh. I dont even dare to call my lecturer if it is past 5.30 pm knowing that working hour is over, and i totally respect that. Unless it is a matter of life and death, then different thing lar kan :P But if the student called late at night just to ask whether the answer should be in point form or essay, then i'll get pissed lor. I dont remember teaching high school kids :(

Ok, it's already 10.35 am. I should eat something...eat what?? Why is it so difficult to decide what to eat :(

I.Want.To.Go.Islanding.Again!!

2008-10-29T16:11:00.002+08:00

AM I NOT A BUMIPUTERA?

Was reading this news on TheStarOnline, and noticed something wasn't right.

At first, the news said 30% non-bumiputera were recruited, then it stated that the 30% comprised of Chinese, Indians and ethnic minorities from Sabah and Sarawak. So, are they trying to say that ethnic minorities from Sabah and Sarawak aren't bumiputera? How about me? Am i not a bumiputera? No wonder i feel like i have been lacking some of the special priviledges. Dammit!! The subject of the news should be "immigration finally gets up non-Malay to join up" since the ethnic minorities in Sabah and Sarawak aren't bumiputera. Chishh!! Angry betul!! I am a bumi ok!!

2008-10-29T10:35:00.003+08:00

STRICT.WEIGHT.GAINING.DIET

I have just realised that i have not been eating well. To deny that i have eating disorder, yes, i am not suffering from anorexia or bulimia. I bet i weigh only 32 by now :( Last Sunday, Bie noticed that i hardly drink any water, which i feel weird too, coz i wasn't thirsty at all!

And i hardly eat proper meal for the past two weeks. Why? I'M SO DAMN PICKY!! No idea who taught me to be picky, but that's me since i was young. The food must look good, smell good, taste good, and if possible, sound good and feel good too :P I basically use all my five senses to eat (which is true lar), but also i must make all my five senses happy before i want to eat something, which is really really bad.

The food must look good: Durian doesnt look good, that's why i never eat durian. (Notice the word never!)

The food must smell good: The first one out is durian...duhh!!

The food must taste good: Doesnt look good, doesnt smell good (so the food doesnt meet the other two criteria), so i bet it doesnt taste good...

The food must sound good: Durian has any sound? Ouchh ouchh...them thorns!!!

The food must feel good: Squishy, mushy, fingers all dirty...durian totally out!!!

Ok, i have been so unfair to durian. Of all the food we have in this world, why must i choose durian hor? Coz it's No.1 in the list of "I-WILL-NEVER-EAT-YOU" :P

So, today i will start pigging to at least gain a kilo within 3 days. Seriously i wonder how people can gain 3 or 4 kg within days? I wonder do they gobble 10 energy bar a day? Yuckks...i hate energy bar! (Everything also i hate :(...)
Another thing, i noticed that my biological clock has finally adjusted to 6 hours of sleep a day!! Yippie!! It used to be 8 hours or else i would feel damn lethargic the whole day if i dont get enough sleep. So, now i have extra two hours!! YIPPIE!! :D

So, since i can wake up early, i'll start my day with a glass of cereal drink + a spoonful of Quaker Oat (good to absorb cholestrol Momma said - I have cholestrol meh?? T__T) The, i'll follow government style of working, another tea break at 10 am, just chomp anything lah, janji i chew something :D Then lunch break at 12.30 pm until 2. pm. Another tea break at 4 pm. Then, come home from work/school, drop by at Starbucks or McDonalds to get something quick to drink/bite (drive-thru is heaven sent!! although there is no Starbucks drive-thru yet here :P) Then around 8 pm, dinner :D My favorite time of the day coz i get to eat slowly while watching my favorite tv show or DVD (talking about DVD, my player has malfunctioned and home theatre is f*cked!! ANGRY!!) Then, supper before sleep!! Actually, supper before bedtime is really bad because our tummy should be resting already istead of working so hard with all the digestive juice to digest all the food we ate. Maybe i'll skip this one, and opt for a glass of hot milo/milk instead :)

So, with the above diet, do you think i can gain a kg within 3 days? :(

A picture taken at Tioman Island last weekend :) Will blog about my Tioman trip next :D

2008-10-29T02:46:00.002+08:00

EASY CASH

Want to win some cash? Our Knowledge & IS Management Research Group (KISyM) at FSKSM UTM is looking for volunteers/subjects for the SKMM Research on Adoption, Appropriation and Impact of Mobile Phone on Malaysian Society.

If you are a Malaysian citizen living around Johor Bahru, just share with us your mobile phone usage experience in not less than 500 words. Selected entries will be rewarded with RM20 cash prize besides winning a chance to be part of our focus group sessions* and be entitled for RM100 cash and lunch/dinner at a five star hotel :)

Send in your entries before 6 November 2008. Selected entries will be notified by 10 November 2008.

* Focus group sessions will be held at Puteri Pan Pacific Johor Bahru on the following dates:

12 November 2008 - Evening
13 November 2008 - Morning, Afternoon, Evening

Further information at http://theveronicles.com/skmm

Please feel free to forward this message to others.

Thank you.

2008-10-28T12:32:00.002+08:00

THE.BENEFIT.OF.THE.DOUBT

Weekend didn't end pretty well, with bitchy friends trying to bring me down by stabbing each other in the back. Enough is enough, i don't care who is right and wrong, who i should trust and who i should not. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt just because i am simply tired to think so much. My mind had enough of all these silly mind boggling problems of friendships. So, can you people just leave me alone for a while!

I am a nice person, i like to think of myself as a nice person. The reason why people tend to take me for granted..dammit!! So, from this day onwards, i'll be super evil. I'll be soooooo evil you wish i would have never been born! F*CK EVERYBODY!!!!!

2008-10-23T21:57:00.003+08:00

i.missed.amazing.race.asia

T______T so sad!! Gotta catch the replay later at i-have-no-idea-what-time. I told smelly sister that we can actually try to send in our application to join the race. Even before i finished, Momma was saying that we would be the first to be eliminated...chish...My Momma is so supportive :P

Why i can win:

1) I dare to eat worms (do you, do you, do you??).
2) I have Deuter bagpack which is bigger size than me which i normally carry when i'm not on business trip (if business trip, then must carry business-like luggage...so stereotype..bleahh)
3) I am strong (although i am small size)
4) I like to run around.
5) I am patience.
6) I don't give up easily.

Why i'll lose:
1) I can only eat one worm...bleahh (and after that i'll have allergic)
2) I can only carry the bag for the next 1 km before I collapsed on the road.
3) I am strong for only 30 minutes.
5) I am very kanjiong person sometimes.
6) I don't give up, as long as i don't tell myself -- "f*ck-it-lah :D, let's quit and go to Starbucks for Green Tea Latte!!"

I'm super bored today, so, here's the end result of a bored-me :P

2008-10-23T15:17:00.005+08:00

DECEIVED

I'm super upset today after a friend deceived me to provide private English lesson for another "friend". It happened that the"friend" is someone i cannot get along well with!! I'M ANGRY OK! ANGRY SUPER ANGRY! Just when i thought i could make extra bucks, i was cheated! My friend knows i cannot teach that "friend". For f*ck still asking me to teach that "friend"? Give private lesson somemore!! Aarghh...I'M SUPER ANGRY!!!

Anyway, i have been eyeing on a new sunglass :( I only have a few, three Dartboards, one Crosshair, one Wiretap. I want to get this one, can? Warden in Gold frame with V28 Gold Iridium lens...i want :( Tried it a couple of times and it looks nice on me :D I think i need one for monday, one for tuesday, one for wednesday, until sunday :P except on rainy days :D

I also love this hat from Roxy. Tried this hat the last time i went to Roxy store at Jusco Tebrau. Totally love it, but i'm not the kind that will buy on impulse, which is a good thing because i hate feeling guilty if i buy something on impulse. So, i didnt buy it, but the next time if i stumble upon the same or similar hat at Roxy, i'll definitely will grab it (plus more swimwear -- i think i will go islanding -- (is that even a word??) very often with Bie should we love our upcoming trip to Tioman :P)

Friday is coming!! I'm happy coz Friday is Bie's 31st birthday, and on Saturday we are going Tioman for sunbathing, snorkelling, jungle trekking, and jet skiing :D I'll learn my mistake from my Thailand trip and will apply a lot a lot of sunscreen :) And no sunglass while swimming unless i want to look like a panda (again :P)

2008-10-22T11:27:00.004+08:00

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

Have been in love with this version by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole since the day Bie showed me the video. It is such a beautiful song. I would love to imagine myself somewhere in a nice island sipping pina colada, enjoying the sea breeze. What a nice life! I'm heading to Tioman Island this weekend...yippie :)

2008-10-21T01:51:00.003+08:00

DONT.WANT.TO.EAT.ANYMORE

I lose my appetite to eat today, no breakfast, no lunch, no dinner, finally light supper--which was merely a cup of hot cereal drink. Appetite appetite, where art thou? I dont wanna lose the weight which i have painfully gained during my two weeks stay at home :( I wonder why some people are so lucky that a bar of Sneakers or Mars can make them bloat like mad? I WANNA GAIN WEIGHT, LAH WEII!!

Since i was back to JB last Wednesday, i have not done any grocery shopping. Fridge was empty. I was scouring for food (actually not really coz Momma packed my bag so much with food that my baggage was overweight by 7kg and i paid RM115 for excess weight!!!) Just that, i couldn't bear seeing my fridge without my favorite chocolate and strawberry milk, no egg, no bread, no veggie, so in short--should i feel lazy to go out for some take aways, there's very high chance that i'll die of starvation :P (booo...exxagerate!!) Ok ok...i know i overstock my kitchen with so many food, until i dont know what to eat :P (Conscience: Nick..think of those kids in Somalia--why are you wasting food??)

I really dont want to go anywhere today, really dont want. I just hate the scar on my face :( Gotta use layers of foundations to cover it up. And frankly speaking, i hate wearing makeup. Why wasn't i born with a flawless skin T__T

Spent almost two hours in Jaya Jusco, spent a total of RM240 on grocery shopping. I didn't know that 10 rolls of toilet paper could cost me RM18!! It's irony how on earth did i manage to spend RM240 when my initial intention of going to Jusco was to buy a loaf of bread, eggs, milk, and breakfast cereal? When i was driving home from Jusco, i was thinking how can i prevent myself from overspending during my next visit to Jusco.

Then, i got the most brilliant idea!! I have decided that i will never push the damn trolley anymore during my next visit to Jusco :D You know it's funny when i see people push trolley around Jusco, and in their trolley there's only a loaf of bread. HOW HEAVY A F*CKING BREAD CAN BE?? OMG..KIDS THESE DAYS :( Ok, back to my brilliant idea :D I remember today i bought so many things i even have difficulty pushing the damn trolley. IT WAS HEAVY!! So, the problem with shopping with a trolley is, it makes our life easier. Just grab, throw in the trolley, and then push the trolley. We don't feel a thing! So, while we're having fun grabbing, throwing and pushing, we never realise that our trolley is finally full!! My trolley was 80% full T__T So, that's why i spent RM240 on grocery, and this is not the first time i exceeded RM200 on a grocery shopping for a week :( SO...the ultimate solution to my problem is to not use the trolley :) Use the basket :D It's smaller, get full faster, and if i grab too many things and throw them in the basket, eventually it will get heavier, and when it is really heavy, i'll start to put back some of the unnecessary things to lighten the basket up :D BRILLIANT IDEA? (Where's my Nobel Prize???) I bet someone has already thought of this long ago :P (Moronic me :P)

Spot the rainbow. This photo was taken when i was on the back way to Sibu from Dalat.

2008-10-20T13:40:00.006+08:00

THEVERONICLES.COM

Registered this domain for months, and yet it is still empty. I won't be using it for blogging since blogspot is offering free and more stable blogging platform. Thinking of launching something that can bring in some extra money...hahahah. Or perhaps my personal website? Any idea? I have some crazy business ideas, but executing the ideas is another different story :P

Anyway, if you're vaccinated with Chicken Pox vaccine, DON'T EVER THINK THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET CHICKEN POX!! I got vaccinated though :( Read online that the effect would only last for several years...damn! But, also read that if you've had chicken pox, doesn't mean that you will not be getting it again! The second phase would be the more painful shingles!! SO BEWARE!! Chicken Pox can cause more complications to adults than to children.

I might be getting a Macbook soon :D What am i gonna do with so many computer? A Dell desktop, a Dell notebook and a Macbook? I have just realized that i have only a pair of hands and one small butt, so it is impossible to use all three computers or sit in front of three computers at once :P But, being me...i love having more :D

Cheddie, my hamster is alone since the death of Dede. Thought of getting a companion for him, but read that he might kill the other hamster. Or maybe he murder Dede?? Maybe maybe? Impossible, Dede was his wife, how can he murder his wife when they were living in the same cage and the possibility of Dede being unfaithful is 0%. Ok, obviously i am talking nonsense.

Here are some pictures taken at Oya Beach, half an hour drive from my Granma's place :)

She sells the sea shells on the sea shore (have been my favorite tongue twister :P)

She is so poor, she is still looking for sea shells to sell on the sea shore :D

She's happy that she found some sea shells to sell on the sea shore :)

She leapt for joy coz she has some sea shells to sell on the sea shore.

SHE CAN FLY!!!

Ok, enough with the sea shells crap!

Beautiful, isn't it?

Yippie...it's me (let's get retarded!!)

We are so light we don't leave any footprints in the sand.

Have a great week ahead, people :)

2008-10-20T12:10:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD

October 18 was my Dad's birthday, 58th birthday to be exact. He is a retiree who refuses to retire. I guess he enjoys working (a lot). At the age of 58, he is eligible for the 50% off for air tickets. He is a senior citizen now. Without him, i won't be who i am today.

Was born in a big family of 7 siblings, he sacrificed a lot. Being the eldest made the burdens heavier to carry. He didn't have the privilege to study as much as the younger siblings, while expectations on him was to help bringing the food on the table for his family.

Being a mere government worker, he strove hard to do well in his job. The well-being of the family has been his utmost priority. We were not born in silver spoons, but never once we were lack of the basic necessities. He made sure we studied well, and seeing us success and happy was his ultimate desire.

I didn't say much to my Dad, being a girl, I am closer to my Mom. Also because since young, my Dad was always busy with work, working even on Sundays or Public Holidays. I never blamed him for that, because he was just merely doing his duty as a worker, and also working extra means extra income to feed us. Although, there were times when i would get really upset coz he never once attended the prize giving ceremonies in my schools. Despite of witnessing the success of his daughter every year end for 11 years of her study in primary and secondary schools, he was busy working :( But, over the years i begin to understand that there's more to life than attending prize giving ceremony :P

God bless him all over the years with ups and downs. The downs may not sounds like a blessing, but still they are blessings in disguise :)

Happy Birthday to World's Greatest Dad :)

2008-10-18T13:16:00.003+08:00

LIFE'S LIKE THAT

I've been busy chasing the world, seeking recognition every now and then, and pursuing life with one motive in mind: TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD (my own world lar...i'm not the next Hitler :P) Now i'm the slave in my own world, slave to money, slave to the banks, slave to the books, slave to my car, slave to my hamster (no i take that back, since i sayang my hamster), in short..until the day i have achieved what i want in life, i'm a still a f*cking slave...booohooohoo.

There are times i wish i am an heiress, or suddenly i hit that 4 million dollar jackpot, or suddenly the tree at my backyard grows money (i dont even have tree at my backyard :P), or suddenly gold coins fall from the sky!! (then everyone will be rich...chishh). But the problem with me, i am never satisfied T_T. We human will never be happy. Give me a f*cking Proton car, i wish for a Honda. Gimme a Honda, i wish for a Beemer. Gimme a Beemer, i wish for a Jaguar. Gimme a Jaguar, i wish for a Ferrari. Gimme a Ferrari, i wish for a Bugatti Veyrron. Gimme Bugatti Veyrron, i wish for the space shuttle. So, we are never happy for what we have. But Bie always tell me, for every little thing we achieve, always aim for more, this will prevent us from being complacent, in a way this is a good way to motivate us to be better in whatever we do (agree? no??)

But all i want in life for now is to complete my studies, get my dream job (lecturing and torturing student...muahahahha..just joking la..), earn big salary and give some back to my parents, travel around the world, buy big house and big car, get married, have kids and be happy :)

By the way, here's the new member of the family : Sheepie :P Sheepie has a very nice life, so carefree coz everyday she can put her hands in her pockets, play Nintendo Wii all day long, and intoxicate herself with Absolut Vodka. She has a damn good life...sighh!! I'll join her later in the day :P

2008-10-18T12:33:00.003+08:00

WHAT A NAME...

I was somehow worried upon reading the news headline a couple of days ago about Khong Guan biscuits that were found tainted with melamine (stupid people!!). I have all the right reason to be worried because one of Khong Guan biscuit has been my favorite for a very long time : Sultana Biscuit. HOW CAN THEY TAKE THAT BISCUIT AWAY FROM ME?? GIMME ME BACK MY BISCUIT...WOAAHHH!!

But, after checking the following list, my favorite biscuit is not tainted with the stupid melamine :P (or it has not been checked yet??!!) But, while looking through the name of biscuits in the list, one of the biscuit name caught my attention.

Source: The Star Online

Biskut rokok?? Or if translated to English it means Cigarrette biscuit? What kind of biscuit is that i wonder :P Does it taste like tobacco? Or the shape maybe looks like a cigarrette perhaps? Or do you have to light it up and smoke it? Or maybe it has the same bad effect like cigarrette if you eat it? Or maybe it is as expensive as a pack of cigarrette? Or what what what? Can anyone tell me what is Biskut Rokok? Will it make your breath stink after eating it? Or it will give you bad skin coz of dehydration? Is it for sale to those above 18 only? What? What? Why it is called Biskut Rokok? Takde nama lain ke? Isn't there any other name? Why not Biskut Isabella, or Biskut Pak Ali? Or Biskut Obama? Hahahaha...just joking, but i'm still curious to know how does it look like :P

2008-10-14T00:20:00.007+08:00

IN LOVING MEMORY OF DEDE

....cherished little Hamster who brought me so much joy, amusement, affection and who will never be forgotten, passed away October 12th, 2008. She will be greatly missed :( Rest in peace, Dede.

2008-10-09T00:29:00.004+08:00

I'M GOING TO KAMPUNG TOMORO!! (ACTUALLY IN A FEW HOURS...YESH!!)

:P that is so Dawn Yang...teehee (and that is so Dawn Wayang :D) Yes, in a few hours, i'll be going back to kampung and will be there until next Monday...woohoo! Actually i love kampung..it is so serene, and i am looking forward to see our new house :D. The only thing i hate about kampung, i won't be having Internet (maybe..unless there is some kampung people who is advance enough to install wireless, then i can tumpang their connection for a while.. provided they never put password la.. :P) If not, then i am so going to be Internet-less for 4 days ++. I'm so gonna die T__T.

I was rushing to finish every bit of work that requires Internet connection today, and they are not finished!! Gahh...so gonna die (again!!) And tomorrow i'm going to the bank to do some bank transfer...finally i managed to raise USD380 :D (terima kasih, cikgu :P)

I'm still not well, still having flu and ocassional fever, nose is severely blocked, and i speak like Miss Fran Fine from the sitcom The Nanny :P Have been using inhaler for days but doesnt seem to recover though :(

Before i leave, here are some pictures from the previous conference i attended in Bangkok, Thailand. Gosh...thank God i was not there when the political riot happened!

As usual, in t-shirt and jeans and a pair of good sneakers, nothing is more comfy than the combo :P

During one of the presentation...

We had this for tea break, I love it so much :D Taste like "angku kuih", but in really cute fruit shapes, even the angmohs thought they were real fruits and said that those weren't really tasty fruit..bleaah...

The venue of the conference..the hotel where i stayed was sooo much better :)

Ok guys...i'll be back on Monday :D Till then, take care and have a great week ahead :)

2008-10-07T16:22:00.002+08:00

YET ANOTHER PAPER

I have just submitted a paper three weeks ago, which was then accepted about a week ago, and have just submitted the final copy few days ago, and tomorrow is the deadline for the conference registration and i am thinking how to raise USD380 for the ICCEE 2008 conference registration since I'm unable to be contact my supervisor. The thought of missing the conference? It's heartbreaking because I've spent reasonable amount of effort and time for the paper :( I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope that my supervisor will get back to me soon. (Pray real hard!!)

As for ICGES 2008, five abstracts accepted, and i guess i have to choose only two since i wont be having enough time to write more papers due to time constraint. So, anybody lacks of topics? :P It is already accepted, mind you :D Just need to do the full paper, that's all :)

And while i was locking myself in my room trying to finish my work, i was thinking of a new topic. Qualitative Research and Blogs : How Blogs Contribute to Qualitative Data Collection (seriously, i dont even know whether the title is valid or not :P) I'm targeting this for a journal!! Yippie! Don't anyone dare to steal my idea ok! But again, i think the topic is not new..bleahh!!

2008-10-07T14:11:00.003+08:00

IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME

The best thing about being home is, you're home. HOME SWEET HOME! I may not like Sibu as much coz of the fact that i grew up in a little town called Kapit until i left the place for Uni in 2000, and all my friends are there and only a few are in Sibu. But..but..but..i still love coming back to Sibu, coz it's home :) When my friends ask me, how is Sibu? Is it like JB? I will not hesitate to say, well it is under-developed, small, no tall buildings (other than Wisma Sanyan), but it's ok, coz it's home :)

I have many friends who really want to visit East Malaysia, particularly Sarawak. Sarawakians are friendlier, they said (i think so too :P). And most of the time i would recommend Kuching, not only because it is the capital of Sarawak, but because i personally think the unique Cultural Village is the gateway to know more about Sarawak in one day at least :P (like crash course la!) and it is a MUST-VISIT!! Even me being a Sarawakian, i love to go to the Cultural Village, and be amazed by the different ethnicity we have here in the land of the hornbill :) And i get to know more about my own race, Melanau. It is such a shame when people ask me about my race, i couldn't explain much because i stayed in the Dayak neighbourhood since young and as i have said before, i cannot even speak my language properly T__T. And also the fact that my family is a Christian family, we dont practice many traditional ritual or beliefs of the pagan Melanau. The only thing i know, Melanau was pagans and used to worship the spirit of the sea and the celebration is called "Pesta Kaul" and the interesting thing about that celebration is you can see people playing the swing called "Tibau" (not sure i spell it right or not :P)

Besides Sarawak, i would also recommend Sabah, knowing that it has many beautiful island :) And if you're adventurous enough, try to conquer the peak of Mount Kinabalu. If me, i'd choose the island :D Nothing is more relaxing than sitting at the beach, enjoying the sea breeze while getting myself a good tan (actually i never like tanned skin :P) Oh by the way, i might be going to Phuket soon!!! (For another conference of course :P)

Anyway, the bestest thing about being home is i get to be with my family :), my Momma, my Dad, my smelly sister with her smelly hamsters, Big Bro, niece, nephews, in-laws, granmas, granpas, cousins, uncles, aunties etc etc etc... :P

2008-10-06T18:29:00.002+08:00

PATAPON

I am hooked...i repeat...HOOKED...with PATAPON. What animal is that you must be wondering. That's the PSP game which i am currently playing. Newbies might think the game is lame and is for girl, but seriously, i think that's the best PSP game i have ever played! (Besides Super Mario Galaxy and it's my Wii game :P)

What's the game all about? It's a rhythm game, played mainly using the right side control buttons (the triangle, the circle, the x and the square). The characters of the game consist of very cute eyeballs...YES they are EYEBALLS!! The game is about the eyeballs on a quest to the end of the earth, and your mission is to beat the drums...yesh...BEAT THE DRUM! You can also create rain to cross the blazing hot desert to prevent yourself from kena fried alive with the aid of Rain Juju and Don Drum. You are able to go hunting and also have chance to slay dragons :P Haiya..i failed my English, so it's so difficult for me to explain everything. Why don't you read it here and watch the following clip then you'll get the idea what is Patapon all about :D All in all, it is a very cute game :) And, the music of the game will stuck in your head for days and you might sing it in your sleep :P (No joking!)

So, for those who own a PSP, this game is a must-play :D

2008-10-05T21:32:00.004+08:00

FEELING SO AWFUL

Constant sneezing, runny nose, teary eyes...i feel awful! I wonder why am i fall sick NOW? It's suppose to be my holiday! I suppose to be in the pink of health and running around the house and be happy coz i'm home!

Today i accompanied smelly sister to buy a new cage for her hamsters. Yeah, the hamsters have outgrown the cage, so it's time for a double storey house instead. No piccies, but well, you can imagine how it looks like. And ever since i keep hamsters, seems like everyone in my family would love to keep hamsters. It spreads like a disease :P My Big Bro bought 4 hamsters, smelly sister has 4 too, but i keep just a pair :D It's enough, coz i like small family :P

Momma grilled some King Prawn for me, and since everyone in the family doesnt eat prawn as much as i do, so i ate too much of them. And it was soooooooo good :D Besides, i ate chicken liver which is good for me since i'm anemic. Plus, i've been downing Chicken Essence and Bird Nest daily, but my health doesnt seem to improve much, so it makes me wonder...........

Big Bro told us that his son tried to converse in English when he bought his hamsters at a local pet shop, which somehow surprised my Big Bro and his wife. When asked why the sudden change (trying to speak English), my nephew said he was trying to imitate me when i was ordering food at Sarikei KFC the day before :P I find it amusing :D

It's Monday tomorrow, and next Wednesday i'll be flying back to JB :( Sad? Somehow. It's going to be work work and more work starting next week. So, let's cherish the remaining days of my stay in Sibu :D (until my next visit in December :P)

2008-10-04T16:41:00.004+08:00

DOWN WITH FLU

Despite of the good food, and daily bird nest, i'm still down with flu. Why? Dad said he wanna start bird nest business although he is already so occupied with the palm plantation thingy. I would rather he just rest and spend time with Momma traveling around the word in 80 days :P

I'm on holiday, but i slept at 3 am daily. Why? Seriously, i am not on holiday at all. Day time -- try to spend quality time with family. Night time -- try to finish my work before sun rises. Pathetic isn't it? But, i'm kinda loving it :P

Bie's birthday is coming, and i guess i should start thinking of a special gift. If i'm not mistaken, Dad and Momma's birthday is also coming. And best of all, Christmas is coming!! I know it's 3 months away, but seriously...December will come real soon, and before you know it, it's already 2009. And as usual, i'd be doing my annual reflection on what i have achieved and accomplished and what i should achieve and accomplish. That's a really sad time coz most of the time i'd find out that i am so being left behind comparing to my peers T__T.

Anyway, i think Momma is willing to sponsor my doctoral studies...yippie :D It's not so expensive anyway, 3k for the first semester, then 1k for the subsequent semester, with minimum 6 semester and maximum 14 semester. Of course i am aiming for the minimum or even below minimum :P Wish me luck :)

I collected my convocation photo from the studio in Taman U, and guess what!! They suck!! I shouldn't take my photo there, i should have spent RM700 taking my photos at the Bridal studio just like what i did during my undergrad. Yes, the studio offers cheap packages, but they didn't take good photos. I even told my Momma not to hang the photos on the wall, just keep them under the bed...hahahahah. Lesson learned, next time take photo somewhere else, the more expensive the better :P (based on experience lehh) Good thing doesnt come cheap, ok. Like what people say, pay peanut get monkey.

I am three shades darker now after my Bangkok trip, and everyday i am scrubbing myself so hard to get rid of the dark skin. Momma said i'll be fair again in no time, i guess i gotta trust her. I swam with my Oakley sunglass, and the after-effect? Yes, you can see the skin around my eyes are fairer than the rest of my face and body. It's not that i didnt want to put sunscreen, but the weather was fair and it wasn't so sunny, and actually i forgot to bring sunscreen (i brought pimple gel instead T__T)

Will upload the photos from my Bangkok trip soon :) Till then..chiaoo~~

Taken after Hari Raya visiting :P

2008-10-03T02:27:00.005+08:00

APA NAK JADI??!!

Our world is so dark and twisted now. We have pollution everywhere, water pollution, noise pollution, air pollution etc etc. Which part of our earth is clean? Even our house is polluted sometimes. Polluted by the smokes (and fart and also burp :P), heavy metal music (i always believe music shouldn't be noisy, it should be pleasant to the ear, or else i would consider it as noise pollution...teehee). Now, even our food is polluted, or tainted with harmful residues. DAMN!!

Kids of 1980s or 1990s, tell me, what was your favorite candy? I bet 90% would say the White Rabbit Creamy Candy! Can't recall what's that? It's this one:

(Picture from Wikipedia)

I still remember when i was young i soooooooooooooooo love to eat this candy. And how i was amazed that the transparent inner wrapper of the candy will dissolve and is edible (it is right?). Maybe back then it wasn't tainted with the stupid melamine. Maybe only now then the stupid people decided that they wanna "improve" the recipe and added stupid melamine in their dairy products. So stupid! I bet you know what melamine is right? I only know melamine ware, and that's the plate and kitchen ware sometimes that's used in mamak shop, or even my Momma has some melamine ware in her kitchen. How can we eat plates? So stupid! I wonder when can we eat the White Rabbit Creamy Candy again :(

It is so ironic that people would do anything to get more money in their pocket. And to endanger people's life by adding "poison" into their food? THAT'S SICK MAN!

2008-10-02T20:18:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

I guess it's not too late to wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI :) It's only the second day. Hari raya kan sebulan :P

Anyway, i've just came back from Bangkok and soon after i arrived in JB, I flew to Sarawak few days later for "holiday" :P Why the inverted comma you say? Coz it's not really a holiday when you're bringing back the work with ya :( But it's ok. I'm glad i am able to spend some time with my family. I guess i have always been like this ever since i started work 3 years ago :) Indeed i'm a nomad worker :P

I have many photos from my Bangkok trip, besides some other photos from Melbourne trip and recent convocation which i think reside somewhere within my limited-space HDD (yeah..i'm currently running out of space, and seriously thinking about getting myself a 500GB Seagate external HDD).

It's so great to be home since my last trip home was 10 months ago :( (the longest evah!) Anway, i really miss my hamsters which is currently in the good care of Alvin and wife :). I will blog about my Bangkok trip later besides posting some backdated pics...hahahaha. Till then ....

2008-09-11T00:03:00.004+08:00

TIRED NYE!!

You have no idea how tired am i right now T__T. My leg and back and shoulder and neck are all in pain, crying for a good massage on the massage chair which i called my mighty chair. I bought a sofa on impulse yesterday, but i think it was such a good bargain :P And i wanna buy aircond next month :D since the weather has been super unfriendly lately :(

My hamsters are almost 3 months old now (ever since i bought them la :P) and they are not breeding yet (so that i have an excuse to buy them a bigger cage...hehehehe) And i have stopped feeding them with shrimp and small fish, coz it makes their poo super smelly and i have to change their bedding every 2 days (i'm not so free lehh)

You have no idea how badly i want to go on a vacation...wanna go to the beach!!! I'll be flying to Bangkok soon, but no chance to stop by Phuket or Krabi Island T___T. Why not you say? I'll be there for an academic conference, not vacation, that's why cannot :(

My life has been pretty hectic now. Poor Bie i have somehow neglected him :( I dont like to work very hard, but for the sake of gaining more experience especially in teaching, i guess i have to sacrifice my weekends. We are planning to get married on 09/09/09 :) I know it falls on Wednesday, but that's just a tentative plan though...hehehehhe.

I have been running around a lot lately. Next week, my car is going to be 2 years already. Meaning, the warranty is over liao lor :P I will not go back to Proton for servicing. Their service is lousy and expensive!

Ok lah, i am so tired i think i'm gonna hit the sack soon. So, later guys :)

2008-09-09T17:40:00.003+08:00

WHAT'S SO DIFFICULT?

It's not difficult at all. All i need to do is to fill up the damn form, attach all required documents, pay RM20 processing fees, and it's done! Will it be approved? I'm fully confident that it will be approved due to my current reputation among the academic staffs in my faculty. Still blur? I'm talking about the application for admission for my PhD. I missed one semester because i couldn't decide properly (damn!), which means i could have started my studies like 3 months ago! Now, i have to wait 3 more months before i can start, which means i might graduate one semester later than my friends! (Damn!!) I hate to be left behind...(although i'm aiming to complete everything within 2 years :D...i'm definitely aiming a little too high, but there's nothing wrong in being ambitious, right?)

The thing that has been holding me back all these while? My research proposal. I'm not a research kinda person. All my life, i'm more into coursework, reading books and answer exam papers. Only lately i'm more into research and academic writings...thanks to the late exposure...bleahh!! I just couldnt think of a good topic for my PhD research!!! Quantitative research? Qualitative research? Research method? Damn...i know this is not going to be as easy anymore...huhuhuhuhuh! Hang in there, baby...you'll get through all these shit in no time T___T

2008-09-09T12:52:00.002+08:00

SHE'S ALIVE...SHE'S ALIVE!!!!

Hahahhahaha....ok ok my bad my bad...i know i've not been updating for the longest time ever, and the excuse this time? same old same old excuse :P

You know, many times i tried to write something in this blog, but after writing halfway, i would close the browser and discard everything coz of the guilt. What guilt, you say? The guilt of blogging when the fact is i have other important things to do! And as of right now, blogging has the least priority...booohooo!

It's September already, and we are approaching the new year! What have i achieved? OMG OMG (panicked and run around in circles) I may have not achieved much comparing to my peers who have secured good jobs, while i'm still on the way of securing one. But it's ok, i'm progressing steadily, slow but steady :)

I'm going to continue my doctoral studies in December (God's willing :)) and going to be married next June (also God's willing). I have not been home for 9 months now, and that's the longest time ever! I want to fly home before my parents' Jerusalem trip in November, and i'll be home for Christmas for sure :D I wanna fly to Bali, or any nice island. I wanna go to BBQ buffet, or seafood buffet (anyone knows of any good buffet in JB?)

Many things in my head, until i dont know what should i write about. Ok lah, i'll update again when i'm free :D

2008-08-01T12:59:00.003+08:00

WHAT IS VIRAL INFECTION ANYWAY?

While staring blankly at the face of my doctor who was telling me about viral infection, i was concerned about one thing, only one thing. INJECTION! I have very low tolerance for needles!! And i know if my doc was going to jab me, it's so going to be on my butt coz that's the only part of me with fats...teeeheee. Yesh, i was right indeed, and jabbed on the buttock i was T_T. And i was told to return should my fever didn't subside within 3 days. Doc said he gonna jab me again, this time not only he's gonna jab me, he's gonna drain my blood too!! Ok, not that extreme la...he will just need a sample of my blood for blood test. To check for DENGUE!!! OMG...that would be the last thing in the world i would want to happen to me :(

But now it seems like fever is getting worse, accompanied by blasting cough and cold with runny nose and muscle ache...i think it could be my lung :( My family has the history of respiratory related diseases including emphysema. My Mom is suffering from emphysema. She's not able to walk up the stairs, uphills, anything that requires a lot of walking. My convocation is coming, and i am wondering how can i get to park my car somewhere near the library so that she doesnt have to walk up the hill like what she did during my Undergraduate convo. She almost passed out :(

I want to do my work, but my brain is not working properly. I am not able to focus. I am not at my optimum level now. I am losing weight although i have no extra weight to lose to begin with :( Relying on Ensure for balanced diet. I think that's the best choice when solid food doesn't seem too appealing to me right now. Totally lost my appetite, except i just feel like drinking green tea with lotsa ice chips. How i wish Jusco has delivery service like McDonald or Pizza Hut :P

I think the best choice is to get plenty of rest and drink plenty of fluid, and may i fully recover tomorrow.

Hell no i look like this as of right now :P

2008-07-28T04:03:00.003+08:00

4 AM IN THE MORNING

Yeah...i'm still awake, and have no intention to sleep despite of the non-stop yawning. Many things to blog about, but i have no idea where to start or how should i start. It has been almost a month since my trip to Australia, and it has been three weeks since Bie bought me two hamsters...teehee (Dawn Wayang kinda laugh :P). And it is just three weeks away before my convocation...waaweee :P

My brain is not functioning really well, hmmm at least not for blogging though. I'll be back to blogging and i'll try to blog everyday, even if it's just a sentence or a picture. Anyway, i just wanna take this opportunity to wish Bie and me:

"HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY"

My...cant believe it has been 6 years :) We have fair share of ups and downs. I may not say this always, "Bie, no matter what, I love you, and I'll always do..."

Yeah..we can't be anymore retarded ... :P

2008-07-24T11:52:00.003+08:00

WANT TO BLOG BADLY

It's the time that i dont have. Time is gold! I miss writing -- writing craps i mean. Now i am more into academic writings, still not so bad though :) I want blog again, i've been MIA for the longest time ever. Kejap ada kejap tak ada, macam biskut! Gotta finish my progress report, then i think i'll sit down and blog...yay!!! :) Till then, take care :P

Not always you can find a retarded Starbucks+Scrabble buddy :P

2008-07-15T11:17:00.002+08:00

THE ROAD AHEAD

My Lord God,
I have no idea where am I going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire in all
that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire
And I know that if I do this, you will
lead me by the right road though I may
know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me
and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

2008-07-04T10:09:00.004+08:00

KAKI SAKIT (Leg Pain~~)

Ever since i touched down in Melbourne, or i would say ever since i was in Australia even when i was in Gold Coast, I have taken cab just ONCE! YEAH...ONCE only! Ok, maybe you thought that i've been taking the train or tram or bus, but i didn't hop on any of those public transport either (yet :P). I've been on foot for the past 5 days, and yesterday i walked really far to go to the Melbourne Aquarium T_T

I could have taken the Free City Circle Tram, but i couldn't find where's the station, plus me being a super bitch refused to ask for direction from the angmohs (or the Asians who are somehow sounds like angmohs), so i decided to walk. It was quite fun, coz i get to see more things as to compare to sitting comfortably in the tram :P But i only realise the pain upon reaching my hotel room where i collapsed instantaneously on the bed wtf T_T.

And one thing funny happened. On my presentation day, i was kinda late for the conference (thanks to me forgetting to set my clock to Australia time :P). So, i thought taking a cab would be easier coz i was somehow unsure about the location of the Rydges Hotel where the conference was being held. I asked a cab who was waiting outside the hotel to bring me to the hotel, but he refused by saying that he's unsure where's the hotel is. It's rather strange for me coz it's a famous hotel! Then i hailed another cab, but the same thing happened, the cab driver refused to drive me there, but just before i closed the door, he told me..."It's very near from here, you can just walk..it's only 10 minutes away. If you take a cab, it's going to be about half an hour.." Ooooooooooooohhhh oooooooookkkkk...now i understand why they refused to drive me to the hotel. Plus, i would have ended up paying lotsa money for the cab too! So different from our cabbies back in Malaysia or to be exact Kuala Lumpur!! I kena conned a few times, once i was charged RM25 for a ride from Pudu Raya to Bukit Bintang ($%@#&!!). Some f them refused to carry passenger coz we were asking for metered taxi! They would rather wait the whole day for someone who's willing to pay flat price. STUPID PEOPLE!!

It's funny that i didn't take any photo of the fish from the Melbourne Aquarium T_T, but i took video though, so i might upload 'em on Youtube soon, and will show it to you guys :D Plus, there's a bit and pieces of me in the video who was trying hard to slang like the angmohs but failed miserably....hahahahaha. I think i'd stick to the English with the lo la le version :P

Ok, here's a bit of the pictures i took yesterday. Will upload more within these few days :) Till then, take care.............

Taken at the Treasury Garden

ACMI (Australian Centre for the Moving Image)

The Old Mario :P

The New Mario :D (plus some monkeys standing in front of it too :P)

Flinders Street

The Forum if i'm not mistaken :P

St. Pauls Church

2008-07-03T18:57:00.005+08:00

YEAH..SHE'S DEAD

...NOT!! I'm just busy with many things, and i just dont feel like blogging lately, although i have tonnes of things in my "pea-sized" brain. To think of it, i think it's good if i blog again :)

Well, to Jelly Belly, no..i'm not dead although you might have wished that i should have badly rot by now! DUH!!! Talk to my hand, dude!!

And actually, as of right now I'm blogging from MELBOURNE!!! Good day, mate !! :D Been here since last Sunday, and it's stinking cold in Melbourne!! Last night it was 6 degree and i ended up with throbbing headache coz i didn't cover my head while strolling down the streets of the city, and same thing happened to me today T_T.

Why am i here you say? Was attending a conference held by Monash University which ended just yesterday, and i presented my paper entitled "The Evolution of Services Science" last Tuesday :) Yayyyy!! I survived the presentation although i was somehow thrown a difficult question by a Professor from China :P But, it's funny coz i answered him by saying, "Hmm..that's a really good question indeed, but I'm afraid i have to need more time to look for the answer :P", and moment later, the lao Professors from other universities saw that it was an opportunity for them to show who's smarter and began to answer the question for me :D

Anyway, I'm alone in Australia...YESH...I'M ALL ALONE...BOOOHOHOHOOO. I didn't intend to come alone, never intend to, but Australian Immigration is so strict, in the end i was the only one with approved visa! Chishhh...so lame!

I took many pictures of my surroundings, sooooooooooooooooooooo many and not even one of them with me in it!! T_T I am an egoistic bitch who is too proud to ask help from someone to snap my photo! Yeah..i hate to be at the mercy of someone else!! So...here's one of my picture :D

But tomorrow i'll be meeting a friend in the afternoon. I'm so gonna ask my friend to take a lot a lot a lot of my photos....hahahahhahah (laughing evilly :P)

I went to the Melbourne Aquarium today, and i discovered the Free City Tram :P and still searching for the Free Tourist Shuttle Bus (where are you ahh??) I'll start my day early tomoro and board the tram :) And tomoro i'll go shopping for some souvenirs for people back at home :P I already bought a cute T-Shirt for Bie.

It's so Bie :D

The thing i hate about this city is, most of the shops closed at 6 pm. 6 PM!!! I thought my hometown Sibu is very kampung coz everything closed at 7 pm or 8 pm, here is even worse! But anyway, i dont want to go out after 6 pm, coz it's really freaking cold here at night! And i am not accustomed to cold weather :( I hate cold weather, although somehow the cold breeze feels rather refreshing sometimes, but i still prefer our hot climate :) Although one thing i like about cold weather is i dont sweat at all (well i dont sweat even if it's hot...duhhh), and i dont feel dirty at all hahahhhah. No..i shower as per normal ok :P

I guess enough for today. I'll blog again tomoro when i have more picture of myself hehehhehe.

2008-06-16T16:30:00.002+08:00

WORST DREAM EVER!!

I had the worst dream ever! It's even scarier than the previous dream of being chased by a group of ghosts! I dreamed i was losing someone i loved in a brutal murder. He was shot on the head in his room. I could feel everything, i could see everything, i saw myself crying! IT WAS SO EFFING SCARY! And i cried so hard, i cried in my sleep!! How do i know? Coz when i woke up from my nightmare, my face was wet coz of my tears! And i couldnt forget the dream, hence i continued to cry and cry like a baby! I told myself, "It's just a dream...just a dream..." but i couldnt console myself.

It somehome affects me the whole day, left me thinking...have i done enough to show the person i loved that i really love him? Have i done enough to prove to him that i'm not just another rascal he brought into this world? I was thinking the whole day. Thinking and thinking. I'm scared............ :(

2008-06-08T14:53:00.002+08:00

NOT A BED OF ROSES

Yeah...that's how I can say my life is, although i know i'm not alone. Sadness and depression is so synonym to me i think i can change my name very soon. It's hard to blog about everything especially things which are related to myself complaining about someone very close to me, hence i've created another blog somewhere else, where i can rant and complaint without worrying that i'll get bashed by the end of the day because someone "makan cili and terasa pedas!!" No one knows the whereabout of that blog, and i have no intention to reveal it to anyone because i would end up having the same problem like what i'm having with my current blog.

Ok enough said...so now you know why i seldom blog here anymore...tehehehehe :D But, i'll still blog here sometimes :) So, see you guys around :P

2008-06-01T01:04:00.002+08:00

FRIENDSHIP FOREVER??

I dont think so. I've just witnessed how best friends turned enemies of each other, and how the phrase, "Love" was easily changed to "Hate". Instead of "I love him", it's now "I hate him". As if the word "hate" itself is not strong enough, the phrase is added with "very very much from the bottom of my heart!!" to form a new heartbreaking phrase of "I hate him very very much from the bottom of my heart!!"

I am never lucky in friendships too. The reason why i value every good friends i have. The moment i found one, i'll try very hard to keep them! But, friendship is very diluted nowadays as what Bie said. Friends come and go, but only true friends will leave footprints in our hearts.

I detest those who leave their friends just to achieve their goals in life. I hate those who take advantage of friends and using them as stepping stones for them to reach their life objectives. I loath those who claim to be one's best friend but in the end, turn their back on them and walk away!! These kind of friends are ought to be shot at point blank!! And their corpses are to be thrown to the streets to be eaten by wild dogs!! Yeah...that sounds so much better!! But, but...i really really really hate friends who turn friends against each other!!! I hate them so much i'll pray that lightning will strike them while they are enjoying their Mega Mac (ok..i'm hungry now as i'm writing this entry!!)

I have to admit i dont have many girlfriends. I only keep two or three close girlfriends so that we can share the ups and downs of our life and tell each other our life's darkest secrets (yeah, right!). Girlfriends are the best in comforting each other especially when it comes to boys problem. Yeah, we understand each other better. When we tell another girlfriend, "Guys are assholes!", they will definitely agree with that. But if you tell your boyfriend that "Guys are assholes!", they will definitely say "F*ck you lor..." :P (although it might not be right on your face!)

~~Ok la, enough about this topic. I'm caught in the middle because two of my best friends are fighting with each other and bitching about each other.~~ Actually, after days of analysing what happened, i found out the truth, and the other friend is evil. And i am staying away from that friend, and that's the end of everything. Why did i end it? Because the other friend was trying to ruin everyone's friendship, including mine! FUCK THAT FRIEND!!!

2008-05-26T23:23:00.002+08:00

SOMETHING IN MY HEAD???

I seriously think there is something in my head. Coz today i have a very bad headache, although i tried hard not to think about it or else it would show from my face. But, one thing i cannot escape from everytime i have throbbing headache is the swelling eyes and eyebags as big as an Ikea shopping bag..yeah..it's that bad, babe.

As i've said, i tried not to think too much about it hoping that eventually it would just vanish and go away. I did my work as per normal, pretending nothing was wrong with me. But, by the end of the day, i couldn't pretend no more. Swallowed some pain killers, and took hot shower and off to bed immediately. But couldn't sleep either coz the pain was so bad i feel like hitting it against the wall!!

Seriously, i wonder what caused the pain? Can i just pry open my skull and see whether there is a cockroach in my head?? I wanted to skip the painkiller coz i am somehow depend a lot (i mean a lot...) on pain killers, which is really bad. People always say, it's in the brain. Tell yourself the pain is nothing, and it won't be painful. But, is it true? I tried, but failed miserably. Perhaps i am not strong enough.

I'm off to bed again. I think the pain killer is kicking in coz somehow the pain is vanishing. Good night people :)

2008-05-25T01:12:00.004+08:00

SUCKER!!

To all ~~youtube~~ youporn fan in Singapore -- it's too bad that the website has been banned by the government!! Actually. to think of it, it is actually a good thing (although it's quite a loss lar to all porn lovers :P) I'm not going to say that i'm so innocent i never visited such a website before, but seriously...it is extremely dangerous to our youngsters!!

The website is so easily accessible to anyone. So what if there's a page that asks you to confirm your age, not like anyone gonna tell their real age anyway (dumbass!!) If i'm 13, i'd still click "Confirm, I'm above 18". And the moment a video is selected, it'd start streaming, and sometimes you forgot to lower down the speaker volume and started to panic coz you're afraid your parents would hear the "Ahh ahh" sounds :P

I wanted to print screen how's the page looks like now that it has been banned in Singapore, but Bie is using a Mac and i couldn't find the print screen key on the keyboard!!! (I stared at the keyboard for 10 minutes!!) I owned an Ibook before (which lasted for a year only coz something's wrong with the logic board..tskk tskk so sad!), but i couldnt remember whether Mac keyboard has any print screen button or not. Should have i think. but the strange thing is, i couldn't find it anywhere on the keyboard...bleaahhh.

Talking about underage kids, i have cousins and nieces and nephews who are below 18 signed up for social networking sites like Friendster, Hi5 and Tagged. They dont sign up for Facebook coz it's too complicated they said :P Yeah, at some point, i do agree with them :D I have 13 years old niece who has Mat Rempit in her friends list (i know it's so wtf!!) But, what i'm trying to say is, there is no mechanism that can actually prevent these youngsters from accessing websites which caters for above 18s only! So, the solution? Parental guidance :P But i know my niece's mother is also in the friendster with her (i know i know...this is so wtf!!)

I have one lecturer whose mind is like a frog under coconut shell. He knows i own a blog, and he knows i am active in social networking. But he has problem with all these things that i'm doing, coz he said "Blogs and Social Networkings are for loners!" SO WTF kan???Ok lah..i'll blog more tonight :)

Anyway, Jen..thanks for bugging me to blog...hhahahha. Need someone to kick me in the ass to blog sometimes... :D

2008-05-13T16:47:00.002+08:00

GOSH..I HATE SOME PEOPLE

I made an appointment to send my car to Plentong Service Center tomorrow to rectify the rattling dashboard problem. I called their customer service number, but no answer (i bet they were having their tea break--no wonder private companies dont endorse afternoon tea break). So, i contacted the manager himself to make an appointment, so the appointment was set.

Moment later, i received a call from a woman, i know exactly who's she, and she's the customer service staff. At first, she asked for my car number (dont they have the record?) and then the car model.

Then, the next question -- "which number did you call just now, coz you claimed that the phone was not answered". KNNCCB!! Who is she to interrogate me?? I said, i called the customer service number. Then she started to tell me some numbers as if i remembered what number i dialed. Hello--i dont find any reason to memorize or remember your number. All i did was search for your number on the Internet and dial. Just don't bother asking me what number i dialed!

And she was trying to pin-point that i was wrong -- trying to say that i dialed the wrong number. I'm f*cking sure i dialed the correct number. Well, it's not the first time that this kinda thing happened. And i'm sure i wasn't the only one who experienced this! And she was trying to tell me that i might have dialed KL customer service instead of JB Customer service. Did she try to tell me that i'm so stupid that i cannot differentiate between 03 and 07? Dont be an idiot lar woman!

And there was one time i sent my car for 25k servicing. She was the one attended to me. I was somehow telling her to ensure that my car was serviced properly or my car would explode and turn into ashes (like Jen's case--feel really sorry for her). And she was surprised to hear about the explosion and started to ask whether it's real. OF COURSE IT'S F*CKING REAL!! And she started to say things like, did you read it from the newspaper? Sometimes you shouldn't believe the newspaper, people love to tell lies and stuff like that. Then, like that -- WE ALL SHOULD STOP READING NEWS ALREADY LOR!! Since they are all lies!! Gosh--she can't be anymore stupid that that!!

p/s: Blog is a really good place to vent anger :P Feeling better now :D And no animal was harmed ...hahahaha

2008-05-12T21:30:00.003+08:00

RANDOM POST

A friend was utterly sad to find out that her so called "bf's ex-gf" was still trying to keep in contact with him. What would you do if this thing happens to you? If me, i always believe that one cannot clap with only one hand. So, as long as the other party doesn't respond, then why bother? But, i wont deny the fact that i would be also utterly disturbed knowing the fact that i have "a challenger". But, the best man (or in my friend's case, woman) win they said. So, go girl..show them who's the best.

Called Momma today after having series of dreams about home. Seriously, i've been dreaming about home since last week almost every night, and i would end up waking up in the middle of the night and after that won't be able to go back to sleep, so i would play my PSP instead. I know..it's such a geek to wake up and play PSP at 5.30 am in the morning, and only get back to sleep at 7 am and get up an hour later to go to church (exactly what happened to me yesterday!!) So, yesterday i carried around huges eyebags the zookeeper almost mistook me as the runaway panda and shot my ass with the tranquilizer (yeah..right..lame...!)

Now that Air Asia and Malaysia Airlines are competing with each other, i am so gonna take this advantage to buy tickets to fly home. Not that i am so bothered by the promotions anyway (got promotion or not, we Sarawakians still have to fly..not like we have any other choice..), but since i'd be able to save some money for a new pair of levi's jeans, then why not right?

Ok lah..i will blog again later when i'm free :) Adios Amigos :D

"US"

2008-05-09T09:27:00.004+08:00

EARLY TO RISE

Glad that i woke up super early today despite of sleeping at 3.30 am. Took cold instead of hot shower to wake my sleepy eyes up, and ate few slices of bread (yeah--i've been an eating machine for more than a week now--i just want to eat and eat and eat, and i'll get hungry again half and hour later :P)

I guess i'm back to the normal me -- work work work. YIPPIE--no more books!! (At least for now :P) By the way, one of our paper has been accepted for another conference in Thailand...yippie!!! Total of three papers which have been accepted including one which we didnt want to pursue coz it's a less important conference besides it's going to be held in Prato, Italy (damn far la...no money to fly :P)

I was having difficulty sleeping last night due to my cough. I was about to recover two weeks ago after taking some herbal medication which i puchased over the counter, but stopped taking it for no reason (why ah? why i didnt want to drink the cough syrup? ohh..must be the yuckkiee taste :P) Maybe i'll start again..cannot stand the cough man...sometimes i feel as if my lungs are going to burst!

Mother's Day is coming very soon. I want to get something for my Momma this year, at least a card to tell her how much I love her. I've been away for the longest time ever, and i'm still wondering whether should i fly home or should i just wait for them to come here for my convocation in August. Ya know what...i've been bugging them to come but i wonder why didnt they want to come and visit me :( Air Asia is so cheap la!! (Instead they are planning to go Penang and Sabah instead --your daughter is not there lar!! grumble grumble grumble then merajuk!!)

I finally have a bread toaster!! WOOOHOOO!! Bread toaster weiii!! I should have it long ago before i even get my Osim chair :P Why? Coz it costs only RM35 and i dont have any reason not to buy it!! Things happened for no reason sometimes...ahakkzz.

Excuse my smelly foot ahh :P I was bored last night coz the server was down...the end result of a bored geek (Not!!)!! :P

p/s: Btw, have you noticed that i'm now back to blogging?? Hip hip hoorayy :P I've also created a new blog where i would write about things which are not very related to me :D Check it out here.

2008-05-09T01:23:00.003+08:00

WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE

I've been watching the news about Myanmar cyclone aftermath. Watching and yet doing nothing? More than 22,980 people dead, 42,119 are still missing and millions were left homeless.

It is scary what mother nature can do to us :( Let's offer some prayers for all the victims of Cyclone Nargis. To the dead, may they rest in peace.............

I'm still wondering how can I offer some donation and help. If you know of any channel, please do let me know.